Friday, August 31, 2012

"Sing You Home" - Jodi Picoult - Book Review Journal Entry #1

Today I am linking up with Blonde Undercover Blonde for this weeks edition of book club!! It's been a long time!


"Every life has a soundtrack. All you have to do is listen.
Music has set the tone for most of Zoe Baxter’s life. There’s the melody that reminds her of the summer she spent rubbing baby oil on her stomach in pursuit of the perfect tan. A dance beat that makes her think of using a fake ID to slip into a nightclub. A dirge that marked the years she spent trying to get pregnant.
For better or for worse, music is the language of memory. It is also the language of love.
In the aftermath of a series of personal tragedies, Zoe throws herself into her career as a music therapist. When an unexpected friendship slowly blossoms into love, she makes plans for a new life, but to her shock and inevitable rage, some people—even those she loves and trusts most—don’t want that to happen.
Sing You Home is about identity, love, marriage, and parenthood. It’s about people wanting to do the right thing for the greater good, even as they work to fulfill their own personal desires and dreams. And it’s about what happens when the outside world brutally calls into question the very thing closest to our hearts: family."

This book hit home for me on a lot of fronts. I read it a long long time ago now and am just getting around to reviewing it, and it has taken on another whole new meaning to me. When I was reading it the first time we had just found out we were expecting, and had learned of some of the complications, so I could really feel those feelings Zoe was feeling. The fear, the lack of control over the whole situation. I was bearing witness to what a miracle I had growing in me, and how truly lucky I was to find myself pregnant. But I could identify with her being scared and pregnant. And then the thoughts of losing her child, both before he was born and after. Those are real fears. 

There were also parts of the book I could not identify with. It was strange to me to have a woman who was happily married then resort to becoming a lesbian. However, I can appreciate the bond that women create when they go through a pregnancy together, and although I am sure on a completely different level, but I sometimes think raising a child with another woman would be easier because a woman truly knows how to share the load. However, i imagine that's much more wishful thinking that my hubby was hard wired to raise children, and hear their cries through out the night without me having to wake him up, thereby waking myself up, defeating the purpose of me having "a good nights sleep". Oh well I'll sleep when I'm dead... And someday I'll really miss getting up and snuggling my sweet babies.

"When you want something bad, you'll tell yourself a thousand lies." page 65

So true. I told myself what seemed like a thousand lies to get myself through some horrible times. Like the ten weeks my baby boys life hung in the balance. I convinced myself, or attempted to every day that everything would be just fine. I had no way of knowing that it would be, but hey, fake it til you make it. And it got me through. 

I know I didn't ask for this. I know I shouldn't feel inadequate. I know it's a medical condition, and that if I suffered a cardiac arrest or a broken ankle I wouldn't think of myself as a wimp if I needed surgery or cast - so why should I be embarrassed about this? ... Because it's just one more piece of evidence, in a long, long list, that I'm a failure." page 61

This was something I struggled with. And have struggled with many times in my life. Why do shitty things keep on happening? And the truth seems to be that there is no explanation, I didn't do anything to cause or deserve it. But that requires swallowing an even larger pill known as "we have no control over what happens to us", and that one is even harder to swallow. In this case she is talking about her struggles with infertility and this topic hits very close to home for me. There is a huge stigma of silence associated with infertility. But I get it, it's a very private subject, it's not something everyone can identify with, and it really sucks to go through. It's hard to predict how prop,e will handle such a precarious subject, so sometimes it's just easier to keep it to yourself.  I get it, it sucks, but I get it. 


"If you ask me, music is the language of memory." page 26

Such a true quote. I find certain songs remind me of certain times in my life. Like our wedding song, "Amazed"  - by Lonestar. I can still feel that moment, everyone watching me watching my husband dance. It's soo nice that music can have such a strong pull on your heart strings.




"I know I didn't ask for this. I know I shouldn't feel inadequate. I know it's a medical condition, and that if I suffered a cardiac arrest or a broken ankle I wouldn't think of myself as a wimp if I needed surgery or cast - so why should I be embarrassed about this? ... Because it's just one more piece of evidence, in a long, long list, that I'm a failure." page 61

"When you want something bad, you'll tell yourself a thousand lies." page 65http://www.blondeundercoverblonde.com/2012/08/book-club_31.html

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