Book Club Friday - "The Wedding" - Book Review Journal Entry

After thirty years of marriage, Wilson Lewis, son-in-law of Allie and Noah Calhoun (of The Notebook), is forced to admit that the romance has gone out of his marriage. Desperate to win back his wife, Jane's, heart, he must figure out how to make her fall in love with him... again. Despite the shining example of Allie and Noah's marriage, Wilson is himself a man unable to easily express his emotions. A successful estate attorney, he has provided well for his family, but now, with his daughter's upcoming wedding, he is forced to face the fact that he and Jane have grown apart and he wonders if she even loves him anymore. Wilson is sure of one thing--his love for his wife has only deepened and intensified over the years. Now, with the memories of his in-laws' magnificent fifty-year love affair as his guide, Wilson struggles to find his way back into the heart of the woman he adores.-via

I really loved this book. Such a great story about a mans love for a woman, its nice to know that men can (in fiction and hopefully in real life think the way Wilson does. I loved reading about the process of Wilson falling in love with his wife all over again, and would highly recommend this book as a great summer read. A love story, or a love that was always there, but not always acknowledged. A couple of the excerpts I love are:

"All of those events create their own stresses, and when two people live together, the stress flows both ways. This, I've come to believe, is both the blessing and the curse of marriage. It's a blessing because there's an outlet for the everyday strains of life; it's a curse because the outlet is someone you care deeply about" - page 9

I loved this quote because it is soo very true. Everyday life gets in the way of marriage, at the exact same time as it weaves you and your spouse together. Some it truly is a blessing and a curse. Some of the best of times in my marriage are watching my hubby doing a mundane task (like painting Hannah's bedroom), and some of my most frustrating times in my marriage have been the daily grind that happens when I have to constantly remind my hubby the dishwasher needs to be empty, laundry in the hamper, garbage out... etc. It really is a great comfort to know that someone is on this road with you. Someone whom you can go to when you don't know what to do, or where to go.

"But love, I've come to understand, is more than three words mumbled before bedtime. Love is sustained by action, a pattern of devotion in the things we do for each other every day." page 53

Again, this quote is soo true, its  so easy to say those three words and go to sleep, and think you are doing your piece in showing your partner that you love them. But it really is a case of actions speak louder then words. And my hubby unloading the dishwasher without needing to be asked shows me that he loves me more then three words muttered somewhat obligatorily. When I see him being patient with my daughter I love him more, and I take the opportunity to go in and show him that love with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, and telling him how much I love seeing him with her.

"I learned, for instance, that while wounds can be inflicted easily upon those we love, it's often much more difficult to heal them. Yet the process of healing those wounds provided the richest experience of my life, leading me to believe that while I've often overestimated what I could accomplish in a day, I had underestimated what I could do in a year. But most of all, I learned that it's possible for two people to fall in love all over again, even when there's been a lifetime of disappointment between them." page 190

I also loved this quote, and everything it says. It speaks volumes about how love can stand the test of time and the strains of life, and triumph in the end. I especially liked reading this passage after a rather disappointing night in my own marriage, where I didn't feel like I was being heard, and he didn't seem to care that he wasn't hearing me. It was good to know it will get better, and has, and will continue to go back and forth I'm sure, because real relationships are work, and that they are the most precious thing you can have.

So, I highly recommend this book and thoroughly enjoyed reading it! It may even be a book I go back and read again and again.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!!

Amy

P.S - I've linked up with Heather and her Book Club Fridays so be sure to check out the other reviews!!

"The Rescue" - Book Review Journal Entry #2

"The Rescue" - by Nicholas Sparks

".... Denise Holton decided life was like manure. When used in a garden, manure was fertilizer. Effective and inexpensive, it provided nourishment to the soil and helped the garden become as beautiful as it could be. But outside of the garden - in a pasture for instance - when stepped in inadvertently, manure was nothing more then crap..." pg 65

I liked this quote because it really rings true, when things are going good they are great, when life is going good it's more difficult to really feel the blow of tragedy. But when it takes a turn for the worse, it's really an awful place to be. It seems our attitudes "fertilize" our life, perspective is always much clearer with a clear head and a light heart, but a heavy heart and conflict lead to a perspective that is tainted. There are lots of bad things in life that certainly do contribute to the greater good, and though on a small scale, or in a different setting they are seen as notorious. But sometimes is certainly rings true that the bad makes the good better. The struggles real do shape you into a stronger person, but when you are stuck in the thick of it, it sure doesn't feel that way.
"...It took me a long time to understand that distance can ruin even the best of intentions.... People come, people go - they drift in and out of your life, almost like characters in a favorite book. When you finally close the cover, the characters have told their story and you start up again with another book, complete with new characters and adventures. Then you find yourself focusing on the new ones, not the ones from the past." pg 80

I do believe that people come into your life at a certain time for a certain reason, and maybe that person isn't meant to stay forever, but to teach you something important about yourself or about life. Distance isn't an easy obstacle to overcome, especially without endurance. It's hard to let go of old friends, or to discover they didn't turn out to be who you thought they were, but if you spend too much time focusing on that you miss out on the opportunities for friendship all around you. Once you are able to regain perspective after the loss of the friendship it is easy to immerse yourself in a new.

Overall, I loved this book, its a great book for someone whose experienced a loss and immersed themselves full throttle in life in an effort to drown out there grief, or make themselves busy in an effort to shift focus, this book will really speak to you. Once again Nicolas Sparks, an excellent read!!

Amy

"The Rescue" - Nicholas Sparks Book Review Journal #1

"The Rescue" - Nicolas Sparks

This book is about a single mother, Denise, who is in a car accident where her son, who has a severe learning disability, disappears. He is rescued by a "risks it all" volunteer firefighter, Taylor. A relationship between Taylor, Kyle (the son) and Denise emerges from all of this trauma. This book delves into the complexity of a relationship between a mother and son, a hero and a boy, and a woman and man, and each character takes on a life of it's own. "The Rescue", is all about pushing life to the limits, and Taylor can physically do this at the drop of a hat, but when someone needs emotional rescuing, Taylor might be on the receiving end this time. I really LOVED this book. It hit home with the things my hubby goes through being on the volunteer fire department myself, and in addition to that it was a great story. I would highly recommend this book.

"Youth offers the promise of happiness, but life offers the realities of grief" (pg 15)

I loved this quote because it is so true, as a kid, I really didn't have that many cares, but I had more then a typical kid because I spent a lot of time dealing with a physical "disability" (I never ever call it that - but in reality that is what it has come to be). When I was born there were complications and I required emergency intravenous, and when the Dr's attempted to put the IV in they severed the tendon of my left wrist. At first my one finger was just bent up a little at the end, but it progressed as I grew. So after rounds of testing they determined that I required surgery, and upon doing surgery discovered I had a connective tissue disorder (aka I make scar tissue very rapidly and abundantly). After my surgeries I spent a lot of time focused on if I just do this physio then my hand will get better and I will be "happy", all the while not being terribly unhappy, just dealing with being different from other kids (which when you are a kid is hard). Eventually (14 years into physio every day an hr from my house plus hrs of exercises at home and very little improvement in range of motion), I decided I was done with trying to do this and be happy, I'd rather just be this and happy. So I quit, I instead joined the baseball, basketball, volleyball team and pushed myself, did things I wasn't allowed to do while I was doing physio. And I loved it. So for me this quote speaks to me, as a young child I was promised this elusive happiness, but was given the realities of life, and I needed to grieve those losses in order to really be happy, to be content in my own skin.

"Kyle. Sweet Kyle. Simply thinking about thinking about him made her smile. No, she decided, it wouldn't better (without Kyle). If there was one bright spot in her life, he was it. Funny how he could drive her crazy and still make her love him for it." pg 67

I loved this quote simply because as a mother, I often feel the same way. Hannah is two, she's testing the limits like no tomorrow, but later, when I am venting to my mom and sister about her latest shenanigans, and offering them my two year old, I notice that I am smiling when I am telling them this story about a little girl who has done something I would NEVER tolerate anyone doing, but I am smiling. Even the times she tests me like no tomorrow elicit a smile. Who could have ever imagined loving someone that much. She really can drive me crazy, and make me love her more for it.

Stay tuned for the rest of this book review!!

Amy

Book Review Journal #2 - "At First Sight" - Nicholas Sparks

"At First Sight" - by Nicholas Sparks

This book is about a young couple, that meet up and fall in love in at first sight. They end up getting pregnant right out of the gate and Jeremy makes the decision to uproot himself from his successful New York career and move to Boone Creek, to follow Lexie, who thinks it's important for their child to be raised where she was raised. So rather quickly he packs up his New York apartment and moves down to Boone Creek, but by trade Jeremy is a writer. His writing mainly focuses on disproving frauds and hoaxes, the whole nature versus nurture, and comes from a scientific explanation for everything kind of stand point. However throughout the course of the book, Jeremy is faced with writers block, and he seems desperate to write a good article, all the while dealing with some tumultuous struggles between himself and Lexie. Jeremy seems to be going to desperate measures to come up with a good story, and finds himself turning to Doris (Lexi's grandmother) for inspirations. He is forced to make a decision that will change the course of his career. He's faced with deciding what is worth more to him, what he has believed to be true all these years, or what is true?

I can totally relate to Jeremy's position, as in my pre-injury career I was working in a line of work that I was VERY passionate about and believed that I was doing wonderful things for the people around me. Sure there were bumps along the road, but when aren't there? I really used those bumps as opportunities for growth, and didn't let them steal my passion or bog me down. Unfortunately, my career choice became my demise. I was assaulted by the very person I was soo passionate about supporting. I felt I had done him soo much good, and I was faced with soo many contradictions all at once. Nothing made sense anymore. How could this happen to me? I had done everything according to plans and they had literally blown up in my face and landed me in the hospital with a severe injury that would end my career. My passion, my life. All gone in a flash. It's a really hard feeling to relate to but it sure spoke to me in this novel.

You have to learn a new passion, and you look back at everything so differently. Suddenly those "bumps along the road" weren't learning opportunities, they were warnings to run as fast as you can. Signs of cracks in the foundation you were working so hard to build.

I would highly recommend this book for anyone who has seen how tragedy can transform who you are to who you will become, and how fresh perspective really does have a significant bearing on bringing things into clearer focus when they are becoming hazy.

One of the quotes that I loved from this book was:

"Though he sometimes reflected on the trials he and Lexie had gone through before marriage, he knew they had emerged from them stronger as a couple. When he looked at Lexie now, he knew he had never carried for anyone as deeply. What he didn't know, what he couldn't know, was the hardest days were yet to come." (pg. 120)

When I first read that quote, it made me think that parenthood was going to be a challenge for them, or that their baby was going to be born with problems due to the umbilical cord issues. I really didn't imagine that the book was going to end the way it did. In an effort not to spoil the ending for you I'm not going to say what happens, but to me, it certainly was true that you really never do know how things are going to turn out. You are going to be challenged in life in ways you never imagined possible. You will be faced with impossible decisions, and forced through tormenting emotions. Life is hard, but man it sure is amazing. The good thing about being through something horrible is it makes all the good things that much greater. It's a process to get yourself in that head-space where you can even see the good through the bad, but you really do emerge on the other side of tragedy for the better, and if you haven't gotten to the point where it seems better, keep working, digging your way through the trenches. BUT, don't ever stop being aware of the realities of those trenches, because just when you think you are through something else will be ready and waiting to claw you back down, you have to dust yourself off and carry on. Reminding yourself all the time of the amazing things surrounding you.

At the end of the book things came full circle for Jeremy, and ironically enough, his full circle left him in the same position I feel I am in today. So incredibly in love with life because of the people that are in it, and open to all possibilities, but painfully aware of the unfairness that has frayed the edges.

Amy

Book Review Journal #1 - "At First Sight" - Nicholas Sparks

"At First Sight" - Nicholas Sparks

 This book is above all else a love story, but not one of those lovey dovey everything is perfect love story. It really asks the questions how well do you know the person you are married to? and how well do they know you? It also deals a lot with a relationship that was formed very quickly, and how those relationships aren't so very different from traditional relationships, where there's a longer courtship, and more time to really know what makes your partner tick, and sometimes blow. That said, there are soo very many similarities between the relationships where you know every last detail about your partner, versus the kind where you barely know anything but love them just the same. Whic is best? I'm not sure there is a "best", but they sure do have similarities.

I really do agree with the main character, Jeremy's father, in this excerpt from the book after Jeremy and Lexie (his fiancee) have had a fight
                        "Well, then I'd say it takes two to tango. My guess is that both of you are right and both of you are wrong. That's the way most arguments go, anyway. People are who they are and no one is perfect, but marriage is about becoming a team. You're going to spend the rest of your life learning about each other, and every now and then, things blow up. But the beauty of marriage is that if you picked the right person and you both love each other, you'll always figure out a way to get through it."

I love that quote... it certainly rings true, in an arguement, each person has a little piece of it to own, and without that acknowledgement it's easy to blame the other person, and thereby make the situation worse. You feel more wronged and more indignant that you are right and the other party is wrong. Marriage really is about becoming a team, and spending less time conflicting and more time working together to achieve a commom goal, one that is determined by both parties. Without your eye on the goal though it's easy to get diverted off track and that's when things seem to turn inwards against one another. I love the end of the excerpt, "if you love each other, you'll always figure out a way to get through it."

Stay tuned for more of my review of this book!! It really is a great book soo far!!

Amy