"House Rules" - Book Review Journal

This book was a great book to read, sometimes a little bit frustrating for me, and it hit very close to home for me. I myself was a personal support worker for a man with an autism spectrum disorder, and I truly loved my job. I give Emma (Jacob's mother) all the credit in the world, and Jodi Picoult for the immense amount of research she had to have done to portray Jacob so accurately. Caring for someone with an autism spectrum disorder is a CONSTANT, there is no "time off", even though it is much needed. But, on the other side of the spectrum, I totally see why she loves her son more then anything in the world, from two perspectives, one of course being that I am a mother myself, and the other being that I truly enjoyed the good aspects of my job. The good times made the bad times blend into the background, instead of standing out at the forefront. Unfortunately, my job came to an abrupt stop when I was assaulted by the man I was supporting. He injured my neck (amongst other things), and I now have a dysautonmia, which causes my autonomic nervous system to become dysregulated (short and simple = I pass out - every other day pretty much). I am not trying to paint the picture that all people with autism spectrum disorders have aggressions, because they certainly don't. In this case, the attack came without warning, and unfortunately for me, I wasn't equipped to handle it, being single staffed and driving a vehicle at the time. I try and look back on my time as his support staff fondly, but unfortunately, my injuries have rendered me at times in need of a support worker (having passed out and broken my wrist for example). It's been a LONG road for me, and I have learned sooo many things about myself I didn't know, and have seen how much stronger I am then I ever thought I could be. I am certain at the end of the book that that is the way Emma feels. She has waged a war with the devil, and she's got back up fighting.

From a more technical aspect of the book though, I HATED the ending, or lack there of, I am going to have to go back, and find a better copy of the book for my ereader (because the one I had was INFURIATING, it took literally 5 minutes to just turn the page), and re-read the ending, because I never did find out if Jacob was sentenced or acquited or what happened? Did anyone else get that impression to or did I just miss a HUGE part of the book?

Of course, I am back, linking up with Blonde Undercover Blonde for her Book Club Fridays!!

Hope everyone has a great weekend!!

Amy

"The Postmistress" - Sarah Blake - Book Review Journal Entry #1 Book Club and Boost My Blog Friday!!

"What would happen if a postmistress chose not to deliver the mail?

It is 1940. While the war is raging in Europe, President Roosevelt promises he won't send American boys over to fight.

Iris James is the postmistress of Franklin, Massachusetts a small town at the end of Cape Cod. She firmly believes her job is to deliver and keep people's secrets, to pass along the news of love and sorrow that letters carry. Faithfully she stamps and sends the letters between people such as the newlyweds Emma and Will Fitch, who has gone to London to help out during the Blitz. But one day she slips a letter into her pocket, and leaves it there.

Meanwhile, seemingly fearless radio gal, Frankie Bard is reporting the Blitz from London, her dispatches crinkling across the Atlantic, imploring listeners to pay attention. Then in the last desperate days of the summer of 1941, she rides the trains out of Germany, reporting on what is happening to the refugees there.

Alternating between an America on the eve of entering into World War II, still safe and snug in its inability to grasp the danger at hand, an a Europe being torn apart by war, the two stories collide in a letter, bringing the war finally home to Franklin. " via

This book is quite a lengthy one, and I have to praise Sarah Blake on her attention to detail. It's as if you can see the story coming alive right up off the page. Her descriptions of the surroundings of the characters is very realistic, and not too lengthy. I don't tend to like book about war, which sounds quite hypocritical because I have high praise for all then men and women who are involved in any aspect of the war. For some reason though I don't usually enjoy reading about it. This book is about everyday life amongst the war, and is told from almost every angle. It was easy to imagine yourself in the positions of the characters, but impossible to understand what it was that got them through what had to be the most challenging and heart wrenching times of their lives. Here are some of the excerpts that I love:

"'Put yourself in the place of any of these men,' she said as she slowed to her ending. 'Not one of them wants to be the one who gets it. Still, there comes a wild, intoxicating rush where you take your heart in your hands and hurl yourself right into the teeth of the danger, to forget the danger. So be it, you think, it's all up to God' - she smiled - ' and some men. Over here, you close your eyes, do your job, and fling yourself toward it - whatever it may be.'" page 41

I think this quote says a lot about the mindset of the people who were enlisted in the war, voluntarily, or called to serve. I don't think anyone person looked forward to engaging themselves in it but it was a reality that you couldn't blatantly ignore. And just knowing the possibility of enlisting is looming would be scary enough, I can't even begin to imagine what it's like the very first time you show up at a hospital to work the front lines. I imagine that you really can't be shocked by it. You really do have to close your eyes and fling yourself at it, not knowing exactly what you could be getting yourself into.
"'Sweetheart, there are people over there who need help, who need another pair of hands, and I can bring them. That's the deal. That's what you were saying without saying it right out. When we know there are people in need, right now, in the same breath as what we are breathing, we cannot look away. It is not abstract. We have to go. That is humanity. The whole thing relies on it. Human beings do not look away.'" page 93

This quote was one that as a wife of a firefighter, I often find aspects of his job unimaginable. I don't want my husband to be the guy that's going into a building that's roof could collapse, or a car that could catch on fire any second, but he does it without even thinking about it. It's his job, and I think if he stopped to think about it, then that's when it would/could trip him up. That said, I also cannot look away, if there's a car accident that I end up at with my husband, then I am soo very concerned about the people, and how their families are going to react, how they are just going about their business, and are about to get a call that will stop their day to a grinding halt. So, you go, you help, you do whatever you can to get these people through a terrible time in their life, and it is soo true humanity relies upon people like my husband, and each and every one of us, to fulfill the needs in our societies. Just look at all those places facing devastation from storm damage, and how their communities have rallied, and turned something terrible into an experience that has shaped them as a person and as a community.

Overall, I would recommend this book as a winter read, not a summer read, it's the kind of book that makes you want to cuddle your family close at the end of a long cold day and be thankful for everything around you. It's also a longer book, and I find in the summer time I like to read shorter books. And that my friends, is my link up for Book Club Fridays today, head on over there and check out what other bloggers are reading this week. Stay tuned for the second half of my book review next week.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!!!

Amy

P.S - I'm also linking up with Design in Chic for Boost My Blog Fridays!!!

Book Club Friday - "The Wedding" - Book Review Journal Entry

After thirty years of marriage, Wilson Lewis, son-in-law of Allie and Noah Calhoun (of The Notebook), is forced to admit that the romance has gone out of his marriage. Desperate to win back his wife, Jane's, heart, he must figure out how to make her fall in love with him... again. Despite the shining example of Allie and Noah's marriage, Wilson is himself a man unable to easily express his emotions. A successful estate attorney, he has provided well for his family, but now, with his daughter's upcoming wedding, he is forced to face the fact that he and Jane have grown apart and he wonders if she even loves him anymore. Wilson is sure of one thing--his love for his wife has only deepened and intensified over the years. Now, with the memories of his in-laws' magnificent fifty-year love affair as his guide, Wilson struggles to find his way back into the heart of the woman he adores.-via

I really loved this book. Such a great story about a mans love for a woman, its nice to know that men can (in fiction and hopefully in real life think the way Wilson does. I loved reading about the process of Wilson falling in love with his wife all over again, and would highly recommend this book as a great summer read. A love story, or a love that was always there, but not always acknowledged. A couple of the excerpts I love are:

"All of those events create their own stresses, and when two people live together, the stress flows both ways. This, I've come to believe, is both the blessing and the curse of marriage. It's a blessing because there's an outlet for the everyday strains of life; it's a curse because the outlet is someone you care deeply about" - page 9

I loved this quote because it is soo very true. Everyday life gets in the way of marriage, at the exact same time as it weaves you and your spouse together. Some it truly is a blessing and a curse. Some of the best of times in my marriage are watching my hubby doing a mundane task (like painting Hannah's bedroom), and some of my most frustrating times in my marriage have been the daily grind that happens when I have to constantly remind my hubby the dishwasher needs to be empty, laundry in the hamper, garbage out... etc. It really is a great comfort to know that someone is on this road with you. Someone whom you can go to when you don't know what to do, or where to go.

"But love, I've come to understand, is more than three words mumbled before bedtime. Love is sustained by action, a pattern of devotion in the things we do for each other every day." page 53

Again, this quote is soo true, its  so easy to say those three words and go to sleep, and think you are doing your piece in showing your partner that you love them. But it really is a case of actions speak louder then words. And my hubby unloading the dishwasher without needing to be asked shows me that he loves me more then three words muttered somewhat obligatorily. When I see him being patient with my daughter I love him more, and I take the opportunity to go in and show him that love with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, and telling him how much I love seeing him with her.

"I learned, for instance, that while wounds can be inflicted easily upon those we love, it's often much more difficult to heal them. Yet the process of healing those wounds provided the richest experience of my life, leading me to believe that while I've often overestimated what I could accomplish in a day, I had underestimated what I could do in a year. But most of all, I learned that it's possible for two people to fall in love all over again, even when there's been a lifetime of disappointment between them." page 190

I also loved this quote, and everything it says. It speaks volumes about how love can stand the test of time and the strains of life, and triumph in the end. I especially liked reading this passage after a rather disappointing night in my own marriage, where I didn't feel like I was being heard, and he didn't seem to care that he wasn't hearing me. It was good to know it will get better, and has, and will continue to go back and forth I'm sure, because real relationships are work, and that they are the most precious thing you can have.

So, I highly recommend this book and thoroughly enjoyed reading it! It may even be a book I go back and read again and again.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!!

Amy

P.S - I've linked up with Heather and her Book Club Fridays so be sure to check out the other reviews!!

"Eat, Pray, Love" - Book Review Journal #2 and Book Club Friday!!

So today I am linking up with Heather to finish my review of "Eat, Pray, Love"(you can read the first part here). I loved all the comments I got last week and welcome my newest followers, remember, when I hit 50 followers I am going to do a giveaway (read the details about that here). So, in the final installation of my review of this book (I definitely needed two since it was over 500 pages), I chose the excerpts that spoke to me the most. The first one was:

"...I see how everyone is held so reassuringly in their positions over the years. First you are a child, then you are a teenager, then you are a young married person, then you are a parent, then you are retired, then you are a grandparent - at every stage you know who you are, you know what your duty is and you know where to sit at a reunion. You sit with the other children, or teenagers, or young parents, or retirees. Until at last you are sitting with the ninety-year-olds in the shade, watching over your progeny with satisfaction. Who are you? No problem - you're the person who created all this. The satisfaction of this knowledge is immediate, and moreover, it's universally recognized. How many people have I heard claim their children as the greatest accomplishment and comfort of their lives? It's the thing they can always lean on during a metaphysical crisis, or a moment of doubt about their relevancy - If I have done nothing else in this life, then at least I have raised my children well." - page 165

Elizabeth spends a lot of time in the book trying to define herself and become grounded, and it is quite a struggle, especially when she's used to being defined based on her relationships with other people. This is something I think we can all relate to, and I don't know if its a good thing or a bad thing. Everyone struggles to be autonomous, yet at the same time be the best mom, best employee, best wife, so do all those things combined make me the best ME, or am I nothing more then the best employee, when I am an employee, and then not when I'm not in that setting? I must say I look forward to future family reunions when I can look around at my progeny and have that be part of how I define myself, and I feel it will be the strongest suit I could wear to any business meeting, because raising a family is hard work, maintaining relationships is hard work, its not always fun, but it really is an amazing accomplishment, and to be able to look back on that someday I feel as though I will beem with pride. I struggle with being able to define myself, so truthfully I don't define myself, I just live each and every day to the fullest and enjoy moments that come and go with my friends and family, and try my best to savor these relationships, because I believe they really do help keep me grounded in ways I would not even know how to do myself.

"The other problem with all this swinging through the vines of thought is that you are never where you are. You are always digging in the past, or poking at the future, but rarely do you rest in the moment. It's something like the habit of my dear friend Susan who - whenever she sees a beautiful place - exclaims in near panic, 'It's so beautiful here! I want to come back here someday!' and it takes all of my persuasive powers to try and convince her that she is already here. If you're looking for a union with the divine, this forward/backward whirling is a problem. There's a reason they call God a presense - because God is right here, right now. In the present is the only place to find Him, and now is the only time." - page 223

Ugh!! I do this all the time and I hate it, I'm in Florida on vacation and loving my vacation and already thinking about the next time I come back instead of truly being in the MOMENT. I feel the strong emotions of absolutely loving where I am, yet my mind starts wandering to the next time I can come back. Have you ever struggled with that? It's so true that living in the present is so key to finding peace within yourself, if only I could find the key for living 100% in the present...
"I have searched frantically for contentment for so many years in so many ways, and all these acquisitions and accomplishments - they run you down in the end. Life, if you keep chasing it so hard, will drive you to death. Time - when pursued like a bandit - will behave like one: always remaining in one county or one room ahead of you, changing its name and hair color to elude you, slipping out the back door of the motel just as you're banging through the lobby with your newest search warrant, leaving only a burning cigarette in the ashtray to taunt you. At some point you have to stop because it won't. You have to admit that you won't catch it. That you're not supposed to catch it. At some point, as Richard keeps telling me, you gotta let go and sit still and allow contentment to come to you." page 259

I need to remind myself this excerpt over and over, I have gone back and read it soo many times. I feel like I am always chasing something, especially with a two year old, chasing the goal of potty training, when I really feel like she will get a hang of it on her terms not mine, but I feel this strong source of pressure, that I think I am imposing upon myself to have her potty trained. maybe it's induced by society, maybe it's wishful thinking, but it really does feel urgent. And then I give up, and she tells me, "mommy I poop on potty", and that sense of urgency floods right back in. No contentment, just pure frustration. Which can't be helping anyone, and certainly isn't getting her potty trained. Contentment is a lot like the previous excerpt describes, you need to learn to savor and enjoy the fact that she isn't potty trained, and that is isn't the end of the world, and admire how cute her little padded bum looks in a diaper, and how adorable she is when she exclaims "I'm soaked" even though you wanted her to go on the potty more then you had any idea.

"You gotta stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughtta be." - page 251

I like this one because I often wish my life away, only to disappoint myself. This week will be the week that I.... and then disappointment, instead of just being content or better yet making things happen for myself. I think that is the key, we all need to stop wearing our wishbones, and grow a backbone, and make things happen for ourselves, instead of wishing your life away.

Overall, this book had a lot of great analogies, but they really were well hidden in the midst of an entire chapter about an Ashram, or yoga. Not a quick read by any stretch of the imagination, and probably not something I would want to read again. I really looked forward to the movie, figuring it wold be a shorter version of the movie and the messages would come across a lot clearer, but the movie also dragged and I had to watch it in two sittings because it was quite slow moving. It would be really hard for me to recommend reading either the book or watching the movie because neither was great, but both had the potential to be amazing.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!!

Amy

Book Club Fridays!! "Eat, Pray, Love" Book Review Journal Entry #1

I thought it would be fun to link up with Heather for Book Club Fridays!!

And the book I have chosen to review this week is "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert

"At 32 years old, Elizabeth Gilbert was educated, had a home, a husband, and a successful career as a writer. However, she was unhappy in her marriage and often spent the night sleeping on her bathroom floor. After separating from her husband and initiating a divorce, which he contested, she embarked on a rebound relationship which continued for some time but did not work out, leaving her devastated and alone.
Afterwards, while writing an article on yoga vacations in Bali, Gilbert met a ninth-generation medicine man who told her she would one day come back and study with him. After finalizing her difficult divorce, Gilbert spent the next year traveling around the world. The trip was paid for in advance with a book deal from the publisher.
She spent four months in Italy, eating and enjoying life ("Eat"). She spent three months in India, finding her spirituality ("Pray"). She ended the year in Bali, Indonesia, looking for "balance" of the two and found love ("Love") in the form of a dashing Brazilian factory owner." - via

I have got to admit this book kind of drove me crazy. It had some really, really amazing parts to it, seemingly mashed in with a lot of long descriptions of Italy or the various places she traveled to. But the amazing parts did make it worthwhile, and let me tell you I had high hopes for the movie being an abbreviated version of the book (as they wouldn't have to spend all kinds of time describing Italy, as it would be set in Italy), however, wrong again...

Here are some of the excerpts that I did love though, and some of my thoughts on how they reflect on my life, and what they meant to me:

"Oh, but it wasn't all bad, those few years.... Because God never slams a door in your face without opening a box of Girl Scout cookies (or however the old adage goes), some wonderful things did happen to me in the shadow of all that sorrow." - page 45

I think that this excerpt is sooo very true, retrospection does tend to taint things, and looking back, new experiences often make previous bad experiences not seem so bad, and in some ways can even make them a good thing, and at the very least an opportunity to learn and grow. For Elizabeth, in the wake of a series of bad failed relationships, she really came into her own in the midst of her personal tragedy. Elizabeth grew into herself as they say. I've been through some pretty horrible stuff in my day, and all of that pales in comparison to the birth of my daughter, something truly amazing and beautiful. And while it was a struggle to get to have her she is a miracle, and a true gift. I had soo many demons to fight in the years leading up to her conception, and then birth (a whole new set of struggles), but the fight of my life has led me to her, and what a gift she is. She reminds me everyday as I pick myself up off the floor that it really is going to be okay in the end. And she finds a way to make light of something that she doesn't even know she's making easier for me. She just is.

"My sense of helplessness was overwhelming. What I wanted to do was pull some massive emergency brake on the universe, like the brakes I'd seen on the subways during our school trip to New York City. I wanted to call a time out, to demand that everybody just STOP until I could understand everything. I suppose this urge to force the universe to stop in its tracks until I could get a grip on myself might have been the beginning of what my dear friend Richard from Texas calls my 'control issues.' Of course, my efforts and worry were futile. The closer I watched time, the faster it spun, and the summer went by so quickly that it made my head hurt, and at the end of everyday I remember thinking, 'Another one gone,' and bursting into tears." page 255

That first part of the excerpt really spoke to me, as I was struggling adjusting through my life after the accident, I really did want to make time stop. It was as if the hits just kept coming, and I was floating along, seeking answers to questions I didn't understand why I was asking, and couldn't begin to comprehend what magnitude my injuries would have not only on me, but on the people around me that loved me and were watching me struggle, and try to come into my own, or get back up and fight. The trouble was I was fighting myself, and had been blindsided, and didn't know where the next hit was going to come from. The medical field, which I normally wouldn't subject myself to, but I was without a choice and literally at their mercy, was failing me big time and at that rate yet again. And then everyone's life seemed to go one without me, friends started families, jobs were filled, life kept moving for everyone but me, I was trying to claw my way back into my own old life, but didn't even have a shred of it to hold onto. I didn't understand how this could happen? why is it happening to me? why do I need this procedure? what do you mean you can't do anything? how was I to make decisions in the midst of all this? was I even capable of making a decision? I really needed one of those emergency brakes Elizabeth was desperately seeking. But eventually you get it, you get a grip, you become capable of holding more then one thing in your head at a time, it's almost like you acclimatize to your own new life.

"...She says that people universally tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will maybe descend upon you like fine weather if you're fortunate enough. But that's not how happiness works. Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it, you must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it. If you don't, you will leak away your innate contentment. It's easy enough to pray when you are in distress but continuing to pray even when your crisis has passed is like a sealing process, helping your soul hold tight to its good attainments... I'm putting this happiness in a bank somewhere, not merely FDIC protected but guarded by my four spirit brothers, held there for insurance against future trials in life. This is a practice I've come to call 'Diligent Joy'. As I focus on Diligent Joy, I also keep remembering a simple idea my friend Darcey told me once - that all the sorrow and trouble of this world is caused by unhappy people. Not only in the big global Hitler-'n'-Stalin picture, but also on the smallest personal level. Even in my own life, I can see exactly where my episodes of unhappiness have brought suffering or distress or (at the very least) inconvenience to those around me. The search for contentment is, therefore, not merely a self-preserving and self-benefiting act, but also a generous gift to the world. Clearing out all your misery gets you out of the way. You cease being an obstacle, not only to yourself but to anyone else. Only then are you free to serve and enjoy other people. " - page 427-428

I LOVED this excerpt, and I think it is so very true, soo many people sit back and wait for happy to come to them, well they will be waiting a LONG LONG time. To be happy is work, and some of the work isn't easy, but the harder you work the sweeter the reward. You really get the feeling that it's paid off. And, in order to help preserve the happiness around you, it would be amazing if each person took responsibility for their own happiness, not relying on their partner or the universe to make them happy. It's unreasonable, and stealing someone elses happiness does nothing more then make two miserable people. Focus on the positive, and strive to see it in every day situations, and when it's not there create it. Invite it in, host it readily, and nurture it. Because the second you stop, poof it's gone. And finding it again is a real process.

Stay tuned for the second part of this review. What was your opinions of this book? or movie?

Have a great weekend!!

Amy