tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50672428501847792472024-03-14T03:02:21.101-07:00Our Crazy Beautiful LifeAmyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363521228787251563noreply@blogger.comBlogger115125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5067242850184779247.post-48713891050867357282012-08-31T07:40:00.000-07:002012-08-31T07:40:04.076-07:00"Sing You Home" - Jodi Picoult - Book Review Journal Entry #1<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Today I am linking up with Blonde Undercover Blonde for this weeks edition of book club!! It's been a long time!</div>
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<i>"Every life has a soundtrack. All you have to do is listen.</i></div>
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<i>Music has set the tone for most of Zoe Baxter’s life. There’s the melody that reminds her of the summer she spent rubbing baby oil on her stomach in pursuit of the perfect tan. A dance beat that makes her think of using a fake ID to slip into a nightclub. A dirge that marked the years she spent trying to get pregnant.</i></div>
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<i>For better or for worse, music is the language of memory. It is also the language of love.</i></div>
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<i>In the aftermath of a series of personal tragedies, Zoe throws herself into her career as a music therapist. When an unexpected friendship slowly blossoms into love, she makes plans for a new life, but to her shock and inevitable rage, some people—even those she loves and trusts most—don’t want that to happen.</i></div>
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<i>Sing You Home is about identity, love, marriage, and parenthood. It’s about people wanting to do the right thing for the greater good, even as they work to fulfill their own personal desires and dreams. And it’s about what happens when the outside world brutally calls into question the very thing closest to our hearts: family."</i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">This book hit home for me on a lot of fronts. I read it a long long time ago now and am just getting around to reviewing it, and it has taken on another whole new meaning to me. When I was reading it the first time we had just found out we were expecting, and had learned of some of the complications, so I could really feel those feelings Zoe was feeling. The fear, the lack of control over the whole situation. I was bearing witness to what a miracle I had growing in me, and how truly lucky I was to find myself pregnant. But I could identify with her being scared and pregnant. And then the thoughts of losing her child, both before he was born and after. Those are real fears. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">There were also parts of the book I could not identify with. It was strange to me to have a woman who was happily married then resort to becoming a lesbian. However, I can appreciate the bond that women create when they go through a pregnancy together, and although I am sure on a completely different level, but I sometimes think raising a child with another woman would be easier because a woman truly knows how to share the load. However, i imagine that's much more wishful thinking that my hubby was hard wired to raise children, and hear their cries through out the night without me having to wake him up, thereby waking myself up, defeating the purpose of me having "a good nights sleep". Oh well I'll sleep when I'm dead... And someday I'll really miss getting up and snuggling my sweet babies.</span></div>
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</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #665652; font-family: 'Walter Turncoat'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;"><i>"When you want something bad, you'll tell yourself a thousand lies." page 65</i></span><div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #665652; font-family: 'Walter Turncoat';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #665652; font-family: 'Walter Turncoat';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;">So true. I told myself what seemed like a thousand lies to get myself through some horrible times. Like the ten weeks my baby boys life hung in the balance. I convinced myself, or attempted to every day that everything would be just fine. I had no way of knowing that it would be, but hey, fake it til you make it. And it got me through. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: x-small;"><div style="font-family: verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">
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</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #665652; font-family: 'Walter Turncoat'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;"><i>I know I didn't ask for this. I know I shouldn't feel inadequate. I know it's a medical condition, and that if I suffered a cardiac arrest or a broken ankle I wouldn't think of myself as a wimp if I needed surgery or cast - so why should I be embarrassed about this? ... Because it's just one more piece of evidence, in a long, long list, that I'm a failure." page 61</i></span><div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #665652; font-family: 'Walter Turncoat';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #665652; font-family: 'Walter Turncoat';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;">This was something I struggled with. And have struggled with many times in my life. Why do shitty things keep on happening? And the truth seems to be that there is no explanation, I didn't do anything to cause or deserve it. But that requires swallowing an even larger pill known as "we have no control over what happens to us", and that one is even harder to swallow. In this case she is talking about her struggles with infertility and this topic hits very close to home for me. There is a huge stigma of silence associated with infertility. But I get it, it's a very private subject, it's not something everyone can identify with, and it really sucks to go through. It's hard to predict how prop,e will handle such a precarious subject, so sometimes it's just easier to keep it to yourself. I get it, it sucks, but I get it. </span></span></div>
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<i>"If you ask me, music is the language of memory." page 26</i><br />
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Such a true quote. I find certain songs remind me of certain times in my life. Like our wedding song, "Amazed" - by Lonestar. I can still feel that moment, everyone watching me watching my husband dance. It's soo nice that music can have such a strong pull on your heart strings.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">"I know I didn't ask for this. I know I shouldn't feel inadequate. I know it's a medical condition, and that if I suffered a cardiac arrest or a broken ankle I wouldn't think of myself as a wimp if I needed surgery or cast - so why should I be embarrassed about this? ... Because it's just one more piece of evidence, in a long, long list, that I'm a failure." page 61</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">"When you want something bad, you'll tell yourself a thousand lies." page 65<a href="http://www.blondeundercoverblonde.com/2012/08/book-club_31.html" target="_blank">http://www.blondeundercoverblonde.com/2012/08/book-club_31.html</a></span></div>
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Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363521228787251563noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5067242850184779247.post-68205521651156301122012-08-20T12:47:00.001-07:002012-08-20T12:47:44.715-07:00RestartDo you think there's such a thing as a restart button? Not that I want to re-do the last couple of months ( not that we didn't have great times).... But I have been a bad blogger and this is something I want to do everyday! I want to cherish my memories... The things I never want to forget - even if they made me want to scream at the moment - like yesterday when my sweet three year old used my razor to shave "like daddy does".... Oh dear... I have a wonderful little family and I love spending time with them... And life is busy... But I always enjoy looking back on my blog posts so I am going to do my very best to hone out part of my day to update this :) that's my new goal ... A restart of sorts!!<br />
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AmyAmyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363521228787251563noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5067242850184779247.post-37082661250948343632012-08-15T12:24:00.001-07:002012-08-15T12:24:16.651-07:00Trying to blog from my new iPad!!Just trying to see if it's possible to post from my new iPad? What apps do u guys use to blog from your iPad? Thanks for all your help - hoping this will help me be able to blog much more consistently!! <br />
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Amy Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363521228787251563noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5067242850184779247.post-20021638739914128552012-06-22T09:05:00.002-07:002012-06-22T09:05:52.229-07:00THE Birth Story!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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My delivery day was much anticipated for all the wrong reasons. Part of me started to dread the day that the Dr's would decide that "it was time". The further along I got the more pride i swelled with in being able to maintain a pregnancy against such odds being stacked against us. But the other part of me silently feared the end. Wondered if it would be an end, or a beginning? The end of my pregnancy should automatically equal the beginning of a new life, but we never knew if that would be our reality. Not everyone does, things do go wrong. Tragic things, but most people don't spend 50% of their pregnancy anticipating something going wrong. Some might say that I could have used this time to prepare myself for the potential crisis that may or may not await me. But I couldn't. I could not go there. I always envisioned this working out. Meeting our baby. That was my end goal. Seeing him grow up with his sister. I was terrified about the possibility of not getting to that point every single day. But I did not imagine myself burying my child. I had nightmares of never meeting him. That seemed so real I would wake up literally finding tears in my eyes as I had been crying in my sleep. I had to fully wake myself up and convince myself I was still pregnant and that it was in fact just a very very bad dream.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">True Love - and super drugged up and pumped full of fluids...</td></tr>
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The day that we met Brandon started out very differently from my usual day. Usually I would awake in the morning at 6:30am to greet the first round of Dr's that come through to check on me several times daily. I had been up the night before for 1am-4am with contractions and was on the monitors for that time. But this was my routine it seemed. I had gone about 2 weeks with nightly contractions and monitoring sometimes lasting until the Dr;s would come in at 6:30am. But they always stopped, just as they had that day. On that day I slept through the morning rounds which is very unlike me. i hate the idea of someone being in my room while I am sleeping and anytime that big heavy door creaked open I was instantly awake. When my OB came in to check on me around 7:45am, he woke me up standing over me, and he too noticed that I was unusually sleeping. Asking if I had a rough night. i informed him it was nothing out of the ordinary, but that if I kep having contractions from 1-4am then maybe I would compromise on having him at 35 weeks instead of 36 ( i sure was convinced I was going to make it that far - I had Feb 27th in mind). He laughed and said that he liked that I was negotiable and told me to hang in there and that I was doing a great job and he would see me tomorrow morning. And I fell back asleep. Slept through the breakfast lady bringing me my lunch and the cleaning lady cleaning my room. Both of whom I loved to visit with. My nurse even came in to listen to him and take my temp and left me sleeping because they thought it was unusual I was still sleeping, so they best let me sleep as I must have needed it. At lunch time my nurse came in and woke me up (as I had been sleeping over 4 hrs now) and she had to check me temp and listen to baby. I woke up extemely tired and almost dizzy. It was very strange I felt so weak. I told her that and they decided to recheck my hemoglobin because I had lost a lot of blood just a few days prior so it was possible that my iron was too low and that this was the side effect. Suprisingly enough to them I consented to a blood draw on a day when i wasn't supposed to have one (when you have them every other day and they olnly have one arm to draw from you get picky about these things). One of the girls I met there who had at that point been there for a month came down, we normal spent a lot of our time together chatting and she had been down for our morning visit and found me sleeping. She came in a brought me some of my lunch from the kitchen as I wasn't feeling good enough to get up and go to the kitchen myself and get it. We visited while I attempted to eat my grapefruit. I got up to use the washroom, and discovered I was again bleeding. Ugh... that explained that whole not feeling good thing. I paged for the nurse and she came and checked things out, and called for the dr's to come and check things out. A few minutes later contractions started. They were about every 2 minutes. But I wasn;t worried at all. I had done this so many times before and had been in much much worse shape, so I was content to continue my visit with Natalie and let the contractions stop like they always had before. The Dr came down and decided to do an ultrasound just to see if they could see where the bleeding was coming from. She was the first dr I saw when I came in at 21 weeks with my water broke. I really liked her then, and had spent the last 10 weeks seeing her. I told her about the pain I had had on the left hand side and she paid special attention to that area, and could even provide explanation as to what it was. Brandon had his hands over his head so every time I had a contraction it was stretching that ligament and due to the low fluid it was causing me pain. I was satisfied with that answer and was happy to let the contractions settle while still in my antenatal room. Unfortunately they didn't like the fact that I was contracting so regularily and felt the bleeding needed to be monitored more closely so they decided to move me to labour and delivery for my 9th and what would be final time. I wasn't happy about this arrangement as they would cut-off my food and water supply and would likely hook me up to an iv. Not to mention the beds were incredibly uncomfortable.<br />
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So, they wheeled me down to labour and delivery, and hooked me up to the monitors. I was pleased to hear that the dr that was working the D.R as they called it was Dr. Lopes, and I really liked him and had seen him frequently over the past 10 weeks as he was one of my Maternal Fetal Medicine Dr's. He came in and checked on me and decided he wanted an IV, despite my attempts to desuade him, he felt it was neccesary with the bleeding in case we got into an emergency situation when we needed one and then it would be too late to start one as I was not easy to start an IV on. Under his recomendation I agreed, and my nurse went about trying to start one. Which of course she blew the only good vein I had left in my hand. I asked her to get Robin back (the nurse I had one antenatal, whom I LOVED and she had never missed a vein). She paged her and in the meantime grabbed another nurse to "give it a try". Try is not a word I like to hear! She tried another shittier vein, and of course couldn't get it to start either, so Dr Lopes suggested that anesthesia was in the next room perhaps we should let them do it as it wasn't helping matters wasting all my veins and he could see I was about to decide the IV was off the table. In the meantime I had called Eric and let him know I was down in labour and delivery, as it was his visit night and him Hannah and my dad were coming up that night, so he said he would leave work right away (it was 3pm) and figure out what to do with Hannah. I told him not to worry about leaving early(he was done at 3:30), I was fine, and this is just what I did. He, of course did not listen, and left work right away and called my mom to see if she could leave work early and he could drop Hannah off there. The anestesiologist came in and began trying to start the IV, which was made even more difficult by the fact that I was having stronger contractions every 2 minutes, lasting 1 min 30 seconds so he had 30 seconds to try until the next one. Dr Lopes was in the room the entire time, and Robin (my fave nurse) had come back to and was teasing me through the contractions. We had a running joke about the intensity of the contractions, she was always teasing me that they weren't contractions, just mild cramps. She of course was saying these weren't contractions but mild cramps and Dr Lopes piped up "no that was a really bad one it was 127 toco", and decided he was going to do an ultrasound.<br />
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As you will recall I had just had an ultrasound an hr and a half earlier. So, I told Dr Lopes that and he joked with me that today he would be the Dr and that tomorrow he would let me go back to being the dr. We had a running joke about that too, as I was a very well informed patient. So, in comes the portable ultrasound machine, with dr Lopes trying to do an ultrasound, me contracting in a lot of pain and the anestesioligist trying to get a vein, and Robyn now holding my hand through it all. And the pain in the ass labour and delivery nurse telling me that now is a good time to change into a hospital gown, as I had resisted the idea before. Dr Lopes was just finishing up the ultrasound taht changed everything when Eric walked in the door. he showed me on the screen what looked like the same subchorionic hemorhage I had had in the first trimester, put his hand on my shoulder and told me softly. "This my dear is the end of the road for you. Your placenta is abrupting and we need to take you to the OR immediatly. You have done an amazing job and have been so strong it's time to meet this baby." I immediadtly started bawling, asked for the NICU team to come talk to me, and the room turned into a frenzy. Dr Lopes pressed the anesthesiolisgt to hurry up and get a vein, and little Brandon's heart rate began to go into distress. As I watched the numbers climb indicating his heart rate was in distress I had to remind myself to breathe. I was terrified. Suddenly not ready for this, there was no time for the NICU team to come, no time to calm myself down, it was hunk er down and get through this. Dr Lopes assigned Robyn to come in and help with the delivery depsite the fact that she was supposed to be in antenatal, and she of course scrubbed in. Thank God for them, it was soo nice to have familiar faces in the OR with me as Eric couldnt come in. There was some confusion about which OR I was going into and Dr Lopes solved it by saying I don't care, she's here now and we need to deliver this baby NOW. I didn't like the urgency in his voice. I didn't like the panic in the room. I wasn't ready. And the contractions sucked, especially being strapped to what looked like a cross unable to scrunch up with the contractions. We were all ready, just waiting on the NICU team. Dr Lopes was talking reassuringly to me, while at the same time asking where the NICU team was in a rushed manner. I was craning my neck (depsite my head being strapped down trying to see the monitor that was monitoring B's heart rate. Anesthesia was trying to give me oxygen, and i was feeling really clautrophobic. It was terrifying. Part of me just wanted to be put under. Get him out while its still safe, while he still has a heart beat I remember thinking. After what seemed like forever, but was really only 12 mintues from the time I was wheeled to the O.R to the time he was out (it was 4:49 and he was born at 5:01pm). He was born and I was told he cried right away (a really good sign) and was whisked away to the infant resucitation room by the NICU team and Robyn went with them. Eric got to meet him there and they were taken to the NICU. He weighed in at 3lbs 14 ounces and was 15" long. Soo tiny. He was NEVER intubated. One of my greatest fears was intubation there are soo many risks associated, some are even fatal. I am soo proud that he was never intubated. At some point my dad and sister arrived. I woke up in recovery around 6:30pm, and immediatly wanted to know how he was doing. Dr Lopes came in and told me everything was great and that he cried, and that I would get to see him soon, and Robyn came and told me everything wnet great, and then shift change started and I got a new nurse, Heather, whom I also loved from antenatal, and she went about trying to track down my husband, or someone, and luckily my sister was outside recovery waiting to see me, so she came in and told me he was great, but had forgotten her camera in the NICU, but Heather assured me that they would take me to see him on my way to my room in post partum. Eric came in at some point and all the while my dad was with Brandon in the NICU. Eric told me that they had knicked his head with the c-section scalpel and that it looked pretty bad (like it would need stitches but that we were very lucky as they had missed a major artery (that was literally millimeters away). Dr Lopes had apparently told me this when he came in too and I remember him apologizing (but things from recovery are still very fuzzy). Finally I could see him, they wheeled me into the O.R on my gurney. I was not prepared for how tiny he was, and he was big compared to other's I had seen. But he was tiny. But pink, oh sooo pink, and pink meant alive. I was very overcome with emotion, and I just wanted to stay there with him forever. I could not hold him. This was foreign to me. I wanted so badly to hold him. To be there for him while they stitched his head up, but I was in no shape to be any help, but Eric was with him and Dr Lopes did the surgery, so he was in good hands. He needed to stay in the incubator, but I was allowed to touch his tiny warm hand. I didn't want to go to my room. The room I would share with a mom who had her baby. One of the hardest nights of my life. i was exhausted, in pain and just wanted my baby, and i was stuck in a room with a lovely family who had their baby. Although I probably felt worse for them then I did for me, because I was the one crying, not their baby. It was a long long night, I couldnt wait until I felt good enough to stand up and get my butt in a wheel chair to go down to the NICU the next morning. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFb-hYQ7Y5xUSJgXX4FClMe5M_1uQzseWPBZbPalK3-UQ8cwTCwKjKmPBCbfcuwouBuE9SvsbQSqsd7mJQjEYwRHSUT_T6CSK0DP-xLcUBpnZBspcz7hsHgxo0SkpU_B4aibntFVtu6Hk/s1600/IMG_0248.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFb-hYQ7Y5xUSJgXX4FClMe5M_1uQzseWPBZbPalK3-UQ8cwTCwKjKmPBCbfcuwouBuE9SvsbQSqsd7mJQjEYwRHSUT_T6CSK0DP-xLcUBpnZBspcz7hsHgxo0SkpU_B4aibntFVtu6Hk/s320/IMG_0248.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our First Family photo - all the machinery sure is distracting...<br />
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There were lots of tears shed, as it was really sinking in that he was here. I was happy to see him no doubt, but terrified about the ramifications of him being born. Would he live? Would they need to intubate him? They told me all kinds of stuff that was all floating through my head and I was trying not to get ahead of myself, trying to have faith it would all work out. But I was sad, part of me felt I had failed at keeping him in depsite my very best efforts. It was a very very rough couple of days. But I'll end this post on a positive note, he was here, and he was doing well. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguZJzEPAHgCJzJ7Ltj1Tza_QJ0RBiVH7D_UU_XaYtQQ8QUHsvyoDoG70erudGB6Cd6suGnEIh3RJTaHjAMu77rYb8AVjmC5MJDxgPXwzymS_50pjl8NwpZHi_ZbLZZhMXbxCJznNHhlWE/s1600/miracles.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguZJzEPAHgCJzJ7Ltj1Tza_QJ0RBiVH7D_UU_XaYtQQ8QUHsvyoDoG70erudGB6Cd6suGnEIh3RJTaHjAMu77rYb8AVjmC5MJDxgPXwzymS_50pjl8NwpZHi_ZbLZZhMXbxCJznNHhlWE/s320/miracles.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Soooo true - Brandon's bedroom wall quote!!</td></tr>
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That's in a nut shell our birth story.<br />
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AmyAmyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363521228787251563noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5067242850184779247.post-55189498201102309912012-05-13T13:19:00.001-07:002012-05-13T13:20:16.941-07:00Happy Mother's Day!!<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha8NcWS7YaHrVYFk26eX3KGiqke2cIqLbi1FCeJVJbX2M-Qf2gFJFCXYdf0JabKEpEUHoPCHPEI5Hx3GR_rWlMNfZqzTYLEE6H_Ac3HYZGWMbj9BeIo9l7vA_5VG73qA8z0I8nZJMjCzM/s1600/firsttimeimethim.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="194" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha8NcWS7YaHrVYFk26eX3KGiqke2cIqLbi1FCeJVJbX2M-Qf2gFJFCXYdf0JabKEpEUHoPCHPEI5Hx3GR_rWlMNfZqzTYLEE6H_Ac3HYZGWMbj9BeIo9l7vA_5VG73qA8z0I8nZJMjCzM/s320/firsttimeimethim.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The first time I touched him, a few hours after he was born they wheeled my gurney through the NICU so I could spend some time with my son, I was not allowed to hold him, but I was able to put my hand through a port hole and hold his tiny little hand.</td></tr>
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This year Mother's day feels extra special for me! Simply put - I know what a MIRACLE it is to be able to be a mother. My son has taught me this lesson over and over in the months it took to get him to us safely. Every stage of motherhood is a miracle, and I will never take that lightly. It is an honor to be pregnant, it might not be fun, it might not be glamorous, but it is a miracle. Something soo many long for and would give anything to experience, and just because they haven't experienced it yet doesn't mean they won't move heaven and earth to meet that sweet little one. It will happen! Somedays it won't feel like it will ever happen, sometimes you will feel like you are farther from ever becoming a mom then you ever could be. But these are the times when you are the closest to being a mom. Wanting something so bad, but having no control over it's outcome. One of the traits mom's struggle with everyday. Just think when you do become a mom (and you will you will be a pro at patience). My struggles have taught me this. They have grounded me in the reality that while motherhood and parenting are challenging they are gifts. I am lucky when my three year old colors on the stainless steel fridge with pencil, or tests every limit she can. I may not realize it in that moment, but I can reflect back on it and think of how different things were when I was in the hospital and couldn't supervise her, had no idea whether or not she was coloring on the fridge. I am soo lucky to just be with her. Hell, I am lucky to be alive after my placenta abrupted. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBFa0KYNaV-MBjKJ3qKGknnmGDUNrZrR0OW65jPSQl5MUICxS6NAYm2l2iP5qTkA-D_7Va5I3OlrKjw4sFIpcQDPdFwYiEG9ycpr7yev3o7SsCSEKIqM-aKHvLcxBRfH9yyZ0JwHhOXYM/s1600/firsttimeiheldhim.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBFa0KYNaV-MBjKJ3qKGknnmGDUNrZrR0OW65jPSQl5MUICxS6NAYm2l2iP5qTkA-D_7Va5I3OlrKjw4sFIpcQDPdFwYiEG9ycpr7yev3o7SsCSEKIqM-aKHvLcxBRfH9yyZ0JwHhOXYM/s320/firsttimeiheldhim.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The first time I held him. Photo`s courtesy of my very talented sister Ashley Vance.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpm6hoUxZX8YsBtbZ_a6lfAMr6Yddd4Tg_PtYdde4BHa22nUrCg86uSm9pDD7oy6CujXyCHl_UJ3pjL91Ullm0bMVP9tWahC0zurAii2yn_wIB1P24rG_5ooFhR0bpJJeImTPK9_HH0Bo/s1600/my+babies.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpm6hoUxZX8YsBtbZ_a6lfAMr6Yddd4Tg_PtYdde4BHa22nUrCg86uSm9pDD7oy6CujXyCHl_UJ3pjL91Ullm0bMVP9tWahC0zurAii2yn_wIB1P24rG_5ooFhR0bpJJeImTPK9_HH0Bo/s320/my+babies.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me and my babies, the first time Hannah held her baby brother. The first time I held both my babies. </td></tr>
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I am also lucky I ever got to hold my son. While I was on bedrest for 10 weeks I often wondered when I would get to hold him. If I would get to hold him. That first time I held him was so affirming. It was truly a miracle. The fact that he is here with us now is nothing short of a miracle. So this mother's day I need nothing more then my children. Nothing more then looking at my son and remembering everything I went through, everything we went through. It was all worth it. And that little boy has made this my happiest mothers day yet. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiikYbtvuG6ifyPNRCas40QhJzPJ0DcGOoHqebg5AGbTnLj4bgP6B6CZ3cSMqIiAEHM-3r8mcl-kN2Mpjam55iJepZs0JYsQh3OoBwLr-vN1H8SYmuJjwoIQL9D_TPpD6oHJ59-56ukSlw/s1600/moms.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiikYbtvuG6ifyPNRCas40QhJzPJ0DcGOoHqebg5AGbTnLj4bgP6B6CZ3cSMqIiAEHM-3r8mcl-kN2Mpjam55iJepZs0JYsQh3OoBwLr-vN1H8SYmuJjwoIQL9D_TPpD6oHJ59-56ukSlw/s320/moms.jpg" width="214" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me and my mom and my son, the first time I held him.<br />
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So, Happy Mother`s Day to all the mom`s out there, all the great grandmother`s, grandmother`s and wanna-be mothers. It really is a life changing journey.<br />
<br />
Amy<br />
<br />Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363521228787251563noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5067242850184779247.post-61349454165736034912012-04-27T08:52:00.002-07:002012-04-27T08:52:47.991-07:00Finding Out Our Little Miracle Was a He!!<br />
So, as you all know when we announced our pregnancy, we were not going to find out the sex of our baby. There was a good chance this would be our last baby (as I wanted three children but Eric wanted two), and I wanted it to be a surprise, as Hannah was. I figured after all the hard work getting her to us, I wanted that moment at the end, when we found out what was growing inside me. It was a special moment. A proud moment, and I didn't want anything to ruin that anticipation that you feel in not knowing. There are very few true surprises in life, and in my case, we would know his/her delivery date, as I knew I would be having a c-section. So, we decided to have baby #2 be a surprise as well.<br />
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However, shortly after my water broke, my feelings started to change. I still longed for that "dream" delivery. But we knew that that was not going to happen. There was no way the Dr's were going to let me go past 36 weeks gestation, and we never really knew what we would be looking at if he/she was born at that point. All we knew, was that I had to have a c-section - due to my allergy to pain medication and anesthesia, and my dysautonomia. The Dr's did not want me passing out during delivery leaving the baby in a compromised position, when they were very limited as to what type of anesthetic they could use. And they certainly did not want to administer that anesthetic when my blood pressure was in the tank. So, we were for sure on board for a c-section (provided I wasn't silently dilating and showing up in the delivery room with his/her head already popping out - in which case they would suction him/her out to spare us the trauma of a crash c-section). So, having a c-section for me meant being sectioned under general anesthetic = me being completely out and Eric not being allowed in the room. It also meant hours of recovery post c-section during which I would not be with my child, and would likely still be under anesthetic, or waiting for it to wear off. Well, a lot could happen in those hours. Like my child could die. I could miss out on ever meeting him/her alive. I could hear those words that i was looking forward to hearing from the moment we found out we were pregnant. "It's a Boy! It's a girl!" Instead, the words I may have heard could have been "It was a boy! It was a girl!". These words began to haunt me. I had difficulty sleeping. I would wake up in a sweat paranoid that it wasn't just a dream. I had soo much fear that I would never get to know this little one growing inside me. Each time I went for an ultrasound I toyed with the idea of finding out and putting those fears to rest. I just wasn't ready to give up my dream. To admit that this whole thing was really real. Despite the fact that I was in the hospital, hooked up to monitors, whose job was to determine that my child was still safe. His life was dependent on those wires hooked up to my belly. I loved and hated those wires. They were my peace of mind that drove me out of my mind. I focused on the numbers on that monitor. I thrived on the heart beat emanating from the machine. I would often fall asleep to his heart beat, inadvertently, but I had my best sleep then, ironically enough.<br />
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Finally, enough was enough. I was tired of all this unknown. I got to worry about when this baby would come? Would he/she be able to breathe? Would we make it through the NICU? Would he/she have any of the long term things he was at risk for? Would we make it through? I was tired and scared. And tired of being tired and scared. I needed to feel like this was in my control. Soo, much was out of my control, and beyond my means. I had been robbed of soo much. I wasn't able to be at home enjoying my pregnancy, potentially my last. This pregnancy was supposed to be the relaxed one. That's a joke! I needed to turn this around for myself, and control the things I could. instead of living in fear, I needed to take the time to properly celebrate the miracle of this baby. No matter when my delivery ended up being, it wasn't going to be that dream delivery. It would be filled with anxiety and fear. We would not get to hold our child and gush over him/her. He/she would be promptly whisked away by the NICU, by the time we would see him he would be in an isolette. Our moment would be lost. So, I decided to take it back, at least a portion of it. <br />
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I already knew Eric wanted to know the sex of the baby. I was the one who hadn't. So I asked my Dr's what the babies sex was, and they surprisingly enough did not know. You would think after nearly daily ultrasounds they would have that part figured out. I was planning to find out and to give Eric a card at Christmas revealing the sex of our child. But the Dr's didn't know, but they could find out, and they could do better they said. So, after reviewing all the files of ultrasound pictures I had done, none of them revealed the sex. And there was a chance that the Dr's wouldn't be able to determine gender due to the lack of fluid. But one of my Dr's, one of the Maternal Fetal Medicine Dr's that I saw on the very first day I was admitted and pretty much every day after that admission, came to my room with an ultrasound machine and a bunch of students, and informed me that we were going to do a scan and determine what this baby was. It was the day before Christmas Eve. I had pretty much given up the idea of finding out in time. But she had a plan all along. An amazingly special plan. She performed the ultrasound, and it was one of the most informative ultrasounds I had ever had, she went over every inch of my baby, explaining what she was seeing. Until she got to the gender reveal. She turned the screen away from me. She was going to keep it a surprise for the both of us to open on Christmas morning. It was soo special. She printed the picture determining the gender and put it in a sealed envelope for both of us to open on Christmas. She came and checked on that envelope several times before my Christmas leave of absence.<br />
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So, on Christmas morning I woke my husband up before anyone else was up, and gave his the card. The two of us were both soo shocked when we opened that envelope and it said "this looks like boy parts". It looked like a foot to me. But we were elated. One girl, one boy. Our family was complete. We just needed to make it to the finish line. It was soo special and nice to have that little piece of information just between the two of us. It gave us something to focus on. Our dream wasn't stolen, just diverted. Every week I remained pregnant I celebrated by ordering something for the babies room. It was a decision I have never regretted, but one I spent soo much time wondering if I would regret. I do not regret. It calmed my fears, composed focus for me. <br />
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That is how we found out that our miracle was a "he". <br />
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AmyAmyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363521228787251563noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5067242850184779247.post-27651286815206733182012-04-26T11:40:00.000-07:002012-04-26T11:40:28.117-07:00Our Journey to BrandonI decided to start off his birth story with the pre-birth story story. Yes, this complicated little boy, had soo many "almost" birth stories, I feel they should be included in the actual birth story. As you all know, my water broke at 21 weeks 2 days (and if you dont you can read all about that terrible day here). I was hospitalized at that point for 5 days and given the option to go home until I reached 24 weeks. The rationale for sending me home vs keeping me in the hospital is that, in Canada (and most other places), a baby is not considered viable until 24 weeks, so until that point no medical intervention would be attempted (even if I asked for it). The Dr's that I had (following my admission - the admitting Dr was horrible), felt as though if I made it to 24 weeks (and they sure used the word if A LOT - too much for my liking), then I would be admitted until I gave birth, and they knew what a long haul that would be, especially since I already had a child at home. So, once I established my new (terrifying), normal, I decided to go home for that almost two weeks, and soak up life with my daughter. Try to delight in the little things. Which was easy to do, as she can be all encompassing, and I could briefly forget about the "situation" I was in. However, when she went to bed, or when I realized how limited I was (physically - as I was on complete bedrest) and how limited my time with her was about to become, I was devastated. This devastation, soon turned to guilt, once I realized how lucky I was to still be pregnant, as soo many moms-to-be, whose water breaks prematurely, do go on to deliver within 24-48 hrs, my missing my family and lifestyle were a very small price to pay for still being pregnant. <br />
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I was readmitted to the hospital on December 4th, and promptly started on IV antibiotics (which I hated - and every nurse and Dr in the joint knew it). I have a rational reason for hating IV's though you see, I suffered from an IV injury my whole life. One that I received when I was born. The Dr's severed the tendon in my left hand at birth with an IV. And to this day I have very limited use of my left hand. So, it's not that they hurt, it's programmed in me now to have an adverse reaction. For the first month in the hospital, I was granted leave of absences for day trips to go home and be with my family in my home. It was a wonderful getaway. My life consisted at that point of weekly ultrasound, daily NST, and Monday, Wednesday, Friday visits with my sweet little family. I filled the time in between, meeting other mom's who were also on Antenatal, and also away from their families. I longed for my weekends at home, to be around my family, eat real home cooked food. It was as wonderful as it could be. Little did I know my last trip home would be on Christmas Eve. We made the most of it, mainly just because it was Christmas, but we had no idea it would be the last time I would see the inside of my home until March 8th, 2012, the day we finally brought Brandon home from the hospital. <br />
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New Years weekend, Eric had stayed over night at the hospital with me and we were going to go pick up Hannah and mom and head home for the night, all I had to do was my regular NST (non - stress test - where they monitor babies heart rate for a minimum of 10 mins to check for decelerations or accelerations - signs of distress). I was all hooked up the machine, and Brandon's heart rate, was much higher then it usually was. That was slightly alarming to me, as I had not yet eaten breakfast, and usually a higher heart rate was associated with movement, and usually occurs after I had eaten something. However, baby boy was not moving around like crazy, which he should have been to have his baseline heart rate 180's, when he usually sat around 145 bpm with movement. Forty minutes later, his heart rate was still elevated, and the nurse I had (whom was not one of my regular nurses - but was just training on antenatal) was not concerned in the least. She told me not to worry that was her job and if she wasn't worrying I shouldn't either. Well, I was worried. I knew something wasn't right. Upon returning to my room, all approved to go home, despite my concerns, I stopped in the washroom to pee and discovered the problem. I was bleeding, like bright red bleeding (sorry about the tmi). I promptly called for the nurses (nothing like 4 nurses coming into the washroom to examine the situation happening), who came and called my OB who decided maybe I shouldn't go home. Umm you think? There was no way I was going anywhere, well anywhere but labour and delivery that is, to be monitored one on one, as the bleeding turned into contractions (every 2 minutes for hours on end). I was monitored all day and well into the night on 9 different occasions between December 31st and January 25th. Every trip down to labour and delivery reminded me why I was there. And each time I returned to my room after an exhausting day of contractions and bleeding was victorious for me. I celebrated each day I was still pregnant. When I went from 29-30 weeks, and was on my way back to my room from a particularly hairy day down the delivery room, which included massive amounts of blood loss, soo much so we were pretty sure he was going to be born that day, the Dr's even checked my cervix, (which is a big no-no with pprom), when I was wheeled out of the delivery room and back to my antenatal room, they let me erase my own name off the board while they applauded. I had a great group of people pulling for me. It was such a juxtaposition, usually you go to the delivery room to have a baby and everyone's anticipating the moment that sweet baby makes its grand entrance. All the pains of labour, and exhaustion settles out to a calming sense of we did it, he/she's finally here. In my case, that same feeling was broadcast when I was still pregnant. Except the relaxation never came. We knew that despite the fact I was returning to my room, it was temporary. There would be a next time and maybe I wouldn't be so lucky. Maybe we wouldn't be soo lucky. But that little boy in there was strong and steady throughout. He never went into distress until the very end. He kept the nurses on their toes, and the Dr's reassured. I had more ultrasounds then I could even count. And after he was born I had all these Dr's and all these nurses rallying behind me through his NICU stay. The ultrasound technicians came and sat with me, the nurses had lunch with me while I was breaking from the NICU. Most importantly, I never felt alone. I knew I had people, I knew Brandon had people, and I knew all of these people were looking out for our best interests. There are no words to express the gratitude I feel for these people. Some of them are my family, and some of them became my family. The people you knew who would be just as thrilled as you were that your son gained 30 grams in one day. The people who would pick you up after a day when you watched your son stop breathing over and over again. They reminded me everything I went through, and how strong I am, never how strong I was (despite the fact I was feeling much less then strong - I was so helpless to this sweet little boy). I was not even able to touch him, but I knew the nurses that were touching him were doing so with as much care as I would be able to muster, but with the skill I could not even begin to comprehend. His journey was a long, terrifying one, but it has humbled me to such a great deal. Every single day was a miracle for a whole new reason. Everyday a milestone was achieved was a huge relief. Yes we had setbacks, and those days were the hardest. It was hard to remember all the good things we had going when you're sons alarms are reminding you of how far you have yet to go. It seemed some days there was no end in sight, and we didn't know what that end would look like. I'm not sure we even do now. But this is our new normal. And it is a gift. I will blog a lot more about our NICU stay, and the things we saw there, the little hero's and the heart break. The unimaginable heart break.<br />
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So thank you to everyone who rallied with me and kept me, kept us going strong. Reminded me of what was important, and that I was not alone. I appreciated it more then I believe I will ever comprehend. <br />
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AmyAmyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363521228787251563noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5067242850184779247.post-61442816524527532432012-04-24T13:58:00.000-07:002012-04-24T14:02:23.189-07:00Introducing Our Teeny Tiny Miracle!!He's here!! And he's healthy!! And we couldn't possibly love him more!! I have soo much to share with you guys, but bear with me as I trudge my way through being a mother to two children, one whom is a preemie, and trying to make myself comfortable in my home. I have been a bad bad blogger, but I will try to do better. <br />
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Now back to the big introduction. Brandon made him grand entrance into this world, rather abruptly on January 25th 2012!! We managed to hold out until 31 weeks, 3 days, and he was soo much better because of it. Most importantly, he came out screaming. Screaming was good, excellent really, screaming = ability to breath!! A huge, huge, HUGE milestone, and a huge sigh of relief swept over that OR I'm sure. We all anticipated the day that Brandon would be safer on the outside then on the inside. Probably no more more then me, but we had a ton of people pulling for us. Great family, friends, Dr's and nurses, who all wondered when it would be game over, and what exactly that would look like. No one could give us a clear picture of what his life would look like outside the womb. We had several consultations with the NICU team, and various Maternal Fetal Medicine Dr's, but no one could tell me what I longed to hear. My mantra if you will, "It will be ok". That's all I needed to hear, Instead I got statistics on rates of survival, which at first seemed VERY bleak, but improved slightly each week. But our situation was such a delicate one. A balance if you will. We walked the line on so many fronts. Because my water broke soo prematurely (21 weeks 2 days if you <a href="http://ourcrazybeautifulife.blogspot.ca/2011/12/not-so-great-update-coming-to-you-from.html">recall that post</a>), there was no telling if he would ever be able to breathe outside the womb. There was a chance that his very first breath would be his last, as it would collapse his lungs and essentially there would be no intervention that could prevent or predict this. It was terrifying the day he had to be delivered, because, it really was where the rubber meets the road for him, and I was not ready. I was ready for the nightmare to be over, but not at the cost of my sons life. And if being pregnant forever, and strapping myself to that bed for all eternity meant that he would live, I would have done it in a heart beat. unfortunately, my uterus failed us both, and called trump. My placenta abrupted, sending a tizzy of Dr's to my side, machines hooked up to me, and just like that Brandon was being delivered via emergency c-section. He weighed in at 3lbs 14 ounces, and was 15"long. One teeny tiny baby with more fight in him then I could ever imagine. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrH-BlvRpH-YQRJtI1lPwjMaYPUnobJekbz-Pt5lDfM8EwKBZXygJuG5wKKW6rNfJ2lp021xAJqjvTw1eH5wnPfjmL6yKupdgOdMg5QJADGgDX4gaDaFHWZfH0KJYc2l_nWgWOGqWQMaE/s1600/brandon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrH-BlvRpH-YQRJtI1lPwjMaYPUnobJekbz-Pt5lDfM8EwKBZXygJuG5wKKW6rNfJ2lp021xAJqjvTw1eH5wnPfjmL6yKupdgOdMg5QJADGgDX4gaDaFHWZfH0KJYc2l_nWgWOGqWQMaE/s320/brandon.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Brandon, on his birthday, photo credit to my sister Ashley Vance<br />
Top photo taken right after delivery, and second photo taken a few hours later.</td></tr>
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I'll post about all the details later, as it was a pretty scary day. But I just wanted to take this time to appreciate all my readers that prayed for me, and with me, and let you know that in the end , everything is ok. We are home and together as a family, and doting on our little boy, watching his big sister interact with him. Until next time...<br />
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AmyAmyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363521228787251563noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5067242850184779247.post-86397844582875563582011-12-21T07:07:00.000-08:002011-12-21T07:08:23.851-08:00This Really is a labor of LoveThis has been such a whirlwind for me. My emotions are not in check at all, most days are great, I find that as long as things are maintaining an even (albeit terrifying) keel then I do fine. But as soon as there's a bump in the road (and it seems there have been several), I can't keep it together. It's awful, because I am the kind of person who maintains composure A LOT easier then I have been able to as of late. I realize I have all kinds of preggo hormones raging through my body, plus I am terrified, and am living my life in a vacuum, at the mercy of other people, all things I do not enjoy. I try to cut myself some slack, but realistically I struggle.<br />
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Upon being readmitted to the hospital at 24 weeks, I came in terrified. Not as planned, no smooth transition. I had started having pinkish fluid, and was fearful my placenta was tearing away (abrupting), or that something was really wrong. Upon arriving, the drs and nurses were not concerned, its perfectly normal they told me. I was like - well if its perfectly normal then why did it just start today, why hasn't it been pink all along, what happened between today and yesterday to make it pink. I felt like demanding an ultrasound, figuring that would give them and me and better idea of what was going on. All these questions, and no REAL answers, it could be one of many things they tell me. Well that doesn't put my little mind at ease. A full 24 hrs later they did an ultrasound (a biophysical profile which showed not enough measurable fluid as usual....), and sure enough my placenta was fine and the bleeding wasn't coming from my uterus. A brief sigh of relief ensued. Only to be followed with more questions, ok so why the pink fluid. The answer it's likely coming from your cervix - ok so new fears, why is my cervix bleeding - am I going into labour? And then the pink fluid stops as quickly as it started. Why? It seems I will never know. But I made it to 24 weeks 1 day!<br />
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The first couple of days were hard settling into the hospital. I miss home, I miss Hannah, and life outside here. But I know I am in the best place, and I have two babies to worry about, Hannah, and the one inside me fighting for it's chance at life. And I want that chance to be the best chance possible, which means staying here growing this sweet babe for what seems like a very very long long time. Mid February to be exact. Christmas, New Years and Hannah's birthday all need to happen first. Because if they don't then they will all look very different then they do right now. A whole new level of terror will set it. I have seen first hand how terrifying it is to go into labour after your water has broken far to soon. There have been several women, some who came before me and some who came after, that have had there babies. Each and every time my heart aches for them. I count my blessings everyday. Everyday I am still pregnant is a huge blessing.<br />
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So, today I ask that you think about all the moms whose babies were born to soon, and have started the second round of the fight of their lives. The mom's whose babies are hooked up to machines, and can't be held. Please give them the strength to endure that. Please give me the strength to endure this.<br />
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AmyAmyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363521228787251563noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5067242850184779247.post-12566136106980132552011-12-09T16:32:00.000-08:002011-12-09T16:32:56.051-08:00How I Managed my Stay at Home Between 21 weeks and 24 weeks!!Just thought I would blog a bit about how I did with my stay at home between being discharged from the hospital, at 21 weeks 5 days, until my return at 24 weeks. I was really torn about going home or staying in the hospital, in one way I was in the very best place I could be for baby and myself, but realistically, they would not doing anything for baby until 24 weeks (viability), and I have a sweet little girl at home who was missing me terribly and I was missing her. We were not prepared for this to become our new reality. Our home was in the midst of being decorated for Christmas, and ironically, my husband was preparing for surgery the very next day (the day after my water broke), for a hernia. So, I let my house go a little figuring I'm going to be housebound taking care of Eric for the next couple of weeks. And then baby pulled trump, surgery was cancelled, and childcare in the form of grandma's and aunts and neighbours was established. I am soo thankful to everyone who has supported us through this process, I feel like I am in a bit of a fog, I cant remember what I said/did ten minutes ago, and the passage of time seems to meld together, but is passing so slowly. I can't keep track of things.<br />
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I am so glad I decided to go home for that time period. I missed my home, my baby girl and just seeing her in her element at home. We read lots of books together, and she often came up to me " Mommy I snuggle you". I love those snuggles and cherish every single one of them. I got to spend time with my dogs and cats and enjoyed home cooked food (cuz this hospital food is yucko). i made lists upon lists for how to find Hannah's clothes, how to run the washing machine, how to manage Hannah's daytime routine. I tried to prime myself for the reality that in just a short time I won't be here to oversee that its running smoothly. It was a good thing to do. It has made me feel like at least I have laid the foot prints for her to have some stability. That little girl is my world and I miss her like crazy!!!!!!!!!! I miss checking on her after she's fallen asleep and having her grip my finger in her tiny little fist. Someday I hope she understands how much I love her, and how even though I am not doing this to her, I am doing it for her, and her baby sister or brother who she will cherish for the rest of her life. <br />
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We planned an uneventful relaxing day for the Sunday of my return, we were going to just enjoy each others company, have a nice supper and then head up to the hospital. Unfortunately, the transition from home to hospital was not smooth. I ended up having some bleeding and pink amniotic fluid, so the return to hospital was rushed and panicked. I had to do one of the hardest things i have ever had to do, leave the house with my baby girl screaming at the top of her lungs for mommy to stay with her. it was awful. I felt like the worlds worst mom, and yet there was nothing i could do. She came up to visit me later that evening once things had settled down and i was settled in my room, and was really unhappy to leave but was really happy to see me. <br />
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They say the pink amniotic fluid is somewhat to be expected, as my water has broken and there's less of a cushion between baby and my uterine lining. However, it still terrifies me. I feel like I am living in perpetual terror. It's very difficult to keep my head on straight and be my normal positive self. I am trying to convince myself that everything is going to be just fine, and to minimize my stress, but it is very difficult with this fear looming over me. But I am making it my goal to stay positive. So please keep me and my family in your thoughts. Thank you soo much.....<br />
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AmyAmyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363521228787251563noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5067242850184779247.post-84990335794856863002011-12-07T01:51:00.000-08:002011-12-07T02:08:59.996-08:00A Not So Great Update.... Coming to you from the hospital...I have to admit, I have been avoiding this blog, and well the computer in general for the past couple of weeks, it's way to tempting to google my symptoms and freak myself out anymore then I am already. The other reason I have been avoiding you all is because I do not want to admit out loud (or type) that this is really happening to me right now. I am literally hanging on by a thread and I am terrified every second of the day. I am grateful for each day though, and am trying my damnedest to stay positive and give this baby every single shot at life I can muster. That said it is completely out of my control.<br />
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On the early morning of Tuesday Nov 15th, I was asleep in bed and felt a small gush of fluid. I thought 'hmm that's strange, maybe I have to pee without knowing it and baby just kicked my bladder. So I stood to go to the washroom and experienced a second small gush, and fluid running down my legs, with no urge to pee. I was totally at a loss for what was going on, I never went into labour with my daughter, she was a scheduled c-section. However, surely I was not in labour, I was on 21 weeks and 2 days, way to early for baby to make his/her debut. So, I did what any woman would do, called my mom. She of course advised me to call the hospital, so I did, and they of course advised me to come in and they would determine whether or not I had "just peed myself without knowing it."<br />
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So, I called my hubby home from work, got grandma to come watch Hannah (after some much needed snuggles of course), and we headed into the birthing unit at the hospital. They right away had me do a urine sample (it of course was inconclusive), and then whipped out the big guns to do a quick bedside ultrasound to determine my placenta position. As they were scanning me it appeared that my placenta was covering my cervix (placenta previa - which was news to me I just had a perfectly normal ultrasound 3 weeks ago), so they required a more thorough look with one of the fancier machines upstairs (IN AN HOUR - longest hour ever - or so I thought then). So, we were wheeled up to ultrasound, and the technician there (whom I did not love as she was very tight lipped and kept leaving to consult with the dr) at least told me I did not have placenta previa (but something told me this was not good news, I mean it was good, but more bad was coming). I asked her how could it have looked like it downstairs and not up here (as I saw the scan downstairs and this one looked entirely different). She informed me sometimes when we have a contraction, the placenta balls up and occludes the placenta (GREAT SO NOW I'M CONTRACTING!!!! - was what was running through my head"). I have had many many ultrasounds, and while looking at them had never seen what I saw next, I could determine where baby was, and where my super full bladder was, but there was this third pocket of fluid (or organ as I thought it was, but when I asked the technician she simply told me it was part of the ultrasound and the drs would give me the results (it was infuriating - I wasn't asking for details per say I just wondered what part of my anatomy that was). After a few more "go empty your bladders and I will scan again", the ultrasound was wrapped up and I was wheeled back to the birthing unit (without any pictures of my sweet baby, another sign as I look back, that the prognosis was emergent). The drs came in and told me they were going to do an internal to check for any leakage of fluid through my cervix (which was not fun), and naturally produced a rather large 3rd gush of fluid. And it was concluded, I am in Preterm Premature Rupture of Membranes (or PPROM). F-ING great!!! <br />
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I was quickly admitted, and more drs were dispatched to my bedside, one of whom I will call Dr Doom and Gloom. He quickly informed (and scared the crap out of us), us that I would go into labour within the next 48 hrs, and since baby is not viable til 24 weeks they would not making any attempts to save baby, but that he (my hero), could terminate my pregnancy. As he was speaking those words to me, the very life inside me he was kicking and flailing around. I did not even look at my husband, but quickly stated that would not be happening. I'd gone from "did I pee myself, to sheer confusion, to utter panic and now to sheer terror - all in one morning." I called my mom and she came to the hospital immediately. I did not even know I was crying when she same in, that's how much shock I was in, the tears didn't stop despite no effort on my behalf to start them. <br />
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My poor sweet husband, equally terrified, watching his wife and his world fall apart. Thankfully, once they settled me in my room, Dr Doom and Gloom was relieved of his duties, as he was not being called in to deliver the baby, and a Maternal Fetal Medicine Dr came in to talk to us. She was great, honest, but gave us that little piece of hope we needed to cling to like a life preserver. She told us yes I could go into labour in the next 48 hours and so they would monitor me for infection here at the hospital, but I could also carry on and be pregnant for another 16 weeks. There are no guarantees baby will make it those 16 weeks, and even if it does, it may never have the lung capacity to breathe on its own, but it is a possibility. All the while this baby inside me was kicking around, showing me it's up for the fight (and probably protesting its diminishing accommodations). She said that if I did not go into labour in the next 48 hrs (which was a real possibility as I was dilated 1 cm) and did not develop an infection this would be a great sign, and I could then go home and continue monitoring for signs of infection and be on bed rest at home, and then at 24 weeks be re-admitted and monitored much more frequently and treated much more aggressively. There were things they could do then, as she put it. <br />
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So we waited, had another ultrasound the next morning, and the fluid levels were diminished from the previous days, but not what they expected to see, they figured I would have little to no fluid. This helped them determine the hole/tear in my amniotic sac must be a "high leak", which apparently is a good kind of leak, because it will be more difficult for an infection to get all the way up there. And as an added bonus baby still has some much needed fluid. Luckily for us, labour was not imminent, and I was able to go home for those two and a half weeks to try and imagine my world, and how things were needing to transform. More details on how that looked next update.<br />
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As of right now, I have some requests, I need all the prayers and positive thoughts you can sum up to rally around this baby, and me and my family and friends who are supporting us through all of this. It has been one hell of a ride (and not in a good way), but somehow we are getting through it. I need to remain calm and positive, and really focus on that and making it through this one day at a time. I also need you to pray that I do not go into labor, or develop and infection. These are all very critical things. I will try and update as I can but the nights are long for me, as this is when I seem to leak more, so I tire easily during the day. <br />
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Thank you for your prayers and good vibes<br />
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AmyAmyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363521228787251563noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5067242850184779247.post-26307592937119893552011-10-17T06:17:00.000-07:002011-10-17T06:17:12.954-07:00I'm BACK!!! And I have some exciting news to share!!First and foremost I would like to apologize for my absence, at first it was an issue with lack of energy and not feeling well, and then it turned into a google account verifier problem!! But the important thing is - IT FINALLY let me login to my own blog!! And more importantly I'M BACK!!!<br />
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Now onto the exciting news, and an explanation for my health related absence. Someone has some very exciting news to share...<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGDzQr5LYsgtHoRyK1xrwGyXWVJ__nY99Yr8FcQm0BqdRWaZ0xO2p_9CD2ckgZSXnNnBKEsszaiLusoXrPaawgkNNpy3cSfU85MYe-agsaDB-AKJRaODKp1KpC94_IBDzf0D4Lj-3udn8/s1600/iphone+476.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" oda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGDzQr5LYsgtHoRyK1xrwGyXWVJ__nY99Yr8FcQm0BqdRWaZ0xO2p_9CD2ckgZSXnNnBKEsszaiLusoXrPaawgkNNpy3cSfU85MYe-agsaDB-AKJRaODKp1KpC94_IBDzf0D4Lj-3udn8/s320/iphone+476.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>Hannah's finally going to be a big sister!!! She is super excited and sooo are we!!! Words cannot even describe how over the moon and beside ourselves thrilled we are!! We look forward to welcoming our new addition to our family in March 2012, technically I am due the 25th but due to the fact that I am considered high risk, the baby will likely be here in the beginning to mid March via c-section.<br />
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Now onto why it took me 17 whole weeks to share our exciting news. In the beginning of the pregnancy I was considered high risk, and was put on light duty from 5-12 weeks because I had a nasty subchorionic hemorrhage. What that means is no friggen fun. It threatens your pregnancy because it causes the placenta to tear away from the uterus, which could cause the whole pregnancy to miscarry. So, it was a pretty scary time, but luckily the bleed reabsorbed itself, and was completely gone at our 12 weeks ultrasound, but up until that point we had weekly ultrasounds to monitor if it was growing or shrinking. So, now they only risk to the baby is that it can cause preterm labour because it affects the quality of the placenta, but they will monitor that down the road, and isn't much of a concern for me because given my past experience the drs were really pushing me to have Hannah 6 weeks early, and we settled on three. So, I have to continue trust that God has a plan for this baby, and that my Dr's will continue to shine like they have so far, they really have been phenomenally supportive. <br />
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So, that's my exciting news, and my grand re-entrance into blog land. So stay tuned for the details on how I told the hubby and our families and the renos we have been doing to our house in preparation for baby's arrival.<br />
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Most of all thank you for staying loyal even though I was M.I.A. <br />
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Sincerely<br />
AmyAmyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363521228787251563noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5067242850184779247.post-47180184684048197672011-08-12T11:12:00.000-07:002011-08-12T11:13:19.574-07:00Please Excuse My Absence!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFrWSKrRRAwgZpWQzntSg9oj8P9n9iw9YzwgbHXofSMvL0MNCcadfHTbKNMZNbP7Uxy10oZcbVUJcz8shbh2pF5oRLnBPsrHjO-nWsROEWKeZNJ92RMhpKDeSzMCqCq3skJAkAGc4ORBE/s1600/hannahmommymelissas.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" naa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFrWSKrRRAwgZpWQzntSg9oj8P9n9iw9YzwgbHXofSMvL0MNCcadfHTbKNMZNbP7Uxy10oZcbVUJcz8shbh2pF5oRLnBPsrHjO-nWsROEWKeZNJ92RMhpKDeSzMCqCq3skJAkAGc4ORBE/s320/hannahmommymelissas.jpg" width="239" /></a></div>I'm still feeling under the weather, but I promise I will be back soon with some awesome content. For now I will leave you with some of the photo's Ashley took at my cousins wedding (the one Hannah was a flower girl in) and one the grooms sister took of Hannah with the beautiful bride.<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaAUbQ52PN_pnhM_Rd7B2M3iy6T08u9s-DfJhmE66-70PGFMvsvuHigjBZDX4AV5A7yLhk3THmGf-7JxN5QB6QQKVFgYEsOkf0ZPzF0cQGBa7-kiJ0LspF-Y2q4eKsexl3M2sD6uRKvmY/s1600/hannahmelissawedding6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="210" naa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaAUbQ52PN_pnhM_Rd7B2M3iy6T08u9s-DfJhmE66-70PGFMvsvuHigjBZDX4AV5A7yLhk3THmGf-7JxN5QB6QQKVFgYEsOkf0ZPzF0cQGBa7-kiJ0LspF-Y2q4eKsexl3M2sD6uRKvmY/s320/hannahmelissawedding6.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Thanks for sticking with me through this lack of posting.... Hopefully I'll be back REALLY soon!!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Hope everyone's having a great summer!!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Amy</div>Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363521228787251563noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5067242850184779247.post-55171335099061984522011-08-03T12:54:00.000-07:002011-08-03T12:54:23.949-07:00What a Weekend!!We had a super busy whirlwind weekend!! Hannah was the cutest flower girl, and I promise to post pictures once I'm feeling a bit better. Unfortunately, I have been having some issues with my blood pressure that led to a trip to the hospital on Sunday night, but I am on "light duty" at home, so please keep me in your thoughts that my issues resolve themselves in the next little while. <br />
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I think I may have just overdone it on the weekend. So I am taking it easy, and putting my feet up as per Dr's orders. We had a great time on the weekend, and Hannah was adorable. She even managed to speed walk up the aisle instead of running. My sister got some cute family pictures of us, so I'll be uploading them as well.<br />
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So stay tuned for those updates!! Hope everyone had a great weekend!!<br />
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AmyAmyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363521228787251563noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5067242850184779247.post-8986433083371901122011-07-27T09:49:00.000-07:002011-07-27T09:49:43.669-07:00What I Am Loving Wednesday!!So, my friends, this will probably be my last post this week until next Tuesday, as we have the big wedding happening, and it's a long weekend, so of course I have jam packed it full of all kinds of fun!! So, I'm not MIA, I'm just having an amazing weekend!!<br />
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Now, onto the <a href="http://littledaisymay.blogspot.com/2011/07/what-im-loving-wednesday_27.html">What I'm Loving Wednesdays</a>!!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyb72J8ERLxEGTdpG4liNzVjlOPEc0zCvte46Tcxl_jH1Xxs-a4TCVs5tQUEPmK3JNfWpkHJ8ZqPoi9kBWAAfdrmaQkdOjaaYOJg6lz5WIbwA_A7AbIv8KhohUuJH4Iyx2MvNPT5BTTFM/s1600/WILW.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyb72J8ERLxEGTdpG4liNzVjlOPEc0zCvte46Tcxl_jH1Xxs-a4TCVs5tQUEPmK3JNfWpkHJ8ZqPoi9kBWAAfdrmaQkdOjaaYOJg6lz5WIbwA_A7AbIv8KhohUuJH4Iyx2MvNPT5BTTFM/s320/WILW.jpg" t$="true" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">So, I am loving soooo many things today....</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">First off I am loving that I got all the bridal jewelry done, and even managed to sneak in a necklace for Ashley to wear to her weddings Friday as well. I love the way it turned out also...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkJqeVf8pDnF6RjYs8rR5Y95LnhCVvWDGNIEOIixN44Kwwkrk0-sD6-YM_8O6pPU_4dxdMYOni_pQLVLxngN9b5oF9IJ05IX15CaZfyd5XI8NEkbmnON5Qd8EsT49dDeEX7bMo8L5z-Zg/s1600/ashleysnecklace.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkJqeVf8pDnF6RjYs8rR5Y95LnhCVvWDGNIEOIixN44Kwwkrk0-sD6-YM_8O6pPU_4dxdMYOni_pQLVLxngN9b5oF9IJ05IX15CaZfyd5XI8NEkbmnON5Qd8EsT49dDeEX7bMo8L5z-Zg/s320/ashleysnecklace.JPG" t$="true" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Excuse the blurriness, I was using my iPhone....<br />
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</tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I am loving that Hannah is going to be a flower girl on Friday, and she is soo proud an excited. She will pick flowers from the garden and walk around saying "I'm a flower girl". Soo darn cute, now if only her elbow and knees that are skinned would heal up stat...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I am loving that I will get to see my dad's side of the family. We don't see them often enough, so I am looking forward to seeing everyone, especially my cousin Melissa whose wedding it is. Her hubby-to-be is a real sweetheart.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I am loving that I am getting my hair done on Friday for $15.00. I am looking forward to having half an hour to myself on what I think will otherwise be a hectic day :). I love being pampered so it will be soo nice to get my hair done. I am just going for something simple but I am loving both of these hairstyles I found on Pinterest.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfoqnEwqKGEAZZaUv4zOuN7-qiQeFSfMvhQHAa3WnEXg3T-vBorQFOs71AnOCTAYjgE3_4nGXo-_A7bKaOzobsw16e4dEuC6qsgLBzfDrGrL7F6wtzUBZkhj98uFfwQwZ95LrjQhWd4X8/s1600/anotherhairstyle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfoqnEwqKGEAZZaUv4zOuN7-qiQeFSfMvhQHAa3WnEXg3T-vBorQFOs71AnOCTAYjgE3_4nGXo-_A7bKaOzobsw16e4dEuC6qsgLBzfDrGrL7F6wtzUBZkhj98uFfwQwZ95LrjQhWd4X8/s320/anotherhairstyle.jpg" t$="true" width="274" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I love this one, but without the flowers, but it might be a bit overstated, screaming I got my hair done...</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5bcFGzB1xe5fRaITdFTaTykai92gcrtu8DaZ_jCdYzYJE3f8IS2Bbotjpu5nSDpQsOrpRkxYQF0tpS-Ku8cWCrKd2QNsafNr-I3-11Rs8MSiPtVUpbIBC84PwMnrtjFV2OzmGLBgnA7Y/s1600/hairstyle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5bcFGzB1xe5fRaITdFTaTykai92gcrtu8DaZ_jCdYzYJE3f8IS2Bbotjpu5nSDpQsOrpRkxYQF0tpS-Ku8cWCrKd2QNsafNr-I3-11Rs8MSiPtVUpbIBC84PwMnrtjFV2OzmGLBgnA7Y/s1600/hairstyle.jpg" t$="true" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I love this one, I'm just not sure if I want to go with the simple back, or have it braided and joined at the back</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTr2A73uhcrYBXdApiAqys007p1D6H5MKYVml_66ujirjg8yDDiGzSYkwI86OIYem_mt-td4Pp8-UQHiEuuxNfnhWAIL9DMzqRDSItllEy4OwaZBvZgVH20gkHQIWK5pXdoJub4-ZjkZU/s1600/braidedhairsyle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTr2A73uhcrYBXdApiAqys007p1D6H5MKYVml_66ujirjg8yDDiGzSYkwI86OIYem_mt-td4Pp8-UQHiEuuxNfnhWAIL9DMzqRDSItllEy4OwaZBvZgVH20gkHQIWK5pXdoJub4-ZjkZU/s320/braidedhairsyle.jpg" t$="true" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5bcFGzB1xe5fRaITdFTaTykai92gcrtu8DaZ_jCdYzYJE3f8IS2Bbotjpu5nSDpQsOrpRkxYQF0tpS-Ku8cWCrKd2QNsafNr-I3-11Rs8MSiPtVUpbIBC84PwMnrtjFV2OzmGLBgnA7Y/s1600/hairstyle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5bcFGzB1xe5fRaITdFTaTykai92gcrtu8DaZ_jCdYzYJE3f8IS2Bbotjpu5nSDpQsOrpRkxYQF0tpS-Ku8cWCrKd2QNsafNr-I3-11Rs8MSiPtVUpbIBC84PwMnrtjFV2OzmGLBgnA7Y/s1600/hairstyle.jpg" t$="true" /></a> </><td class="tr-caption" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: center;">Like this but then curly like the above one..<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">Which one are you guys loving?</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I am also loving that it cooled off a little bit yesterday so I was able to have the windows, and front door open all day!!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">So, those are some of the things I am loving today!!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Hope everyone's having a fabulous week, and has a fabulous weekend!!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Amy</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div>Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363521228787251563noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5067242850184779247.post-20539421291936981692011-07-26T07:18:00.000-07:002011-07-26T07:18:45.133-07:00Weekend Recap!!Well, we did it again!! Had an AMAZING weekend! This weekend was a lot more low key then the last one, and certainly more low key then the next one. But it was still great!!<br />
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Friday night I was home alone with Hannah, so once she went to bed I watched "Definitely Maybe", which was an okay movie, not great, but not bad, I didn't regret watching it lol. <br />
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Saturday morning we got up, had a nice breakfast and then quickly packed up a picnic and headed into the splash pad we were loving two weekends ago. We met up with Ashley, and had a picnic in the park, and then headed over to the splash pad. There were a few glitches, like the fact that I forgot Hannah's swimsuit (of all things to forget going to the splash pad), and we arrived at the waterpark at 12:20, only to find out there website was wrong and the don't open until 1pm. So, slightly annoying, but a quick trip to WalMart and a new swimsuit was purchases (and on clearance for $5.00 too). After the waterpark we headed out for some ice cream, and then came home and Hannah and I had a nap, it was fabulous. We went over to the neighbours open house for about an hour, then came home BBQ'd some steaks, and had a delicious spinach and hard boiled egg salad... mhmmm,... I could eat one right now... then my best friend and her kids (and hubby) came over and we sat outside and watched the kids play. Then we had a huge storm roll through, tornado warnings were even issued for our area. I always hate when tornado warnings are issued, or even just severe storm warnings, after Hannah has gone to bed, it makes me anxious. I always contemplate waking her up and bringing her down to the basement. Crazy!!<br />
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Sunday morning we went out for breakfast with Eric's mom, and then headed into town for groceries. Came home and had a family nap, which was really nice. Then spent some time outside. Then Hannah and Eric went down to the rec room/play room while I finished up the bridal jewelry for this weekends wedding. I must say they look pretty darn good.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmxYWBKJTdnbLTqpeyo0VDM9UbdvDRymNpplnKEbt6tqsbxHNrhUepyr6t-mc2bxnh87jfU7dxVHDfzG4ya4xzUSqWq42Jjw-sHAS23uDlFY9rarwJ1KxjAVrHmc9XvDPrTEGsYqR7SAU/s1600/melissasbracelets.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmxYWBKJTdnbLTqpeyo0VDM9UbdvDRymNpplnKEbt6tqsbxHNrhUepyr6t-mc2bxnh87jfU7dxVHDfzG4ya4xzUSqWq42Jjw-sHAS23uDlFY9rarwJ1KxjAVrHmc9XvDPrTEGsYqR7SAU/s320/melissasbracelets.JPG" t$="true" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bracelets, the maid of honors is braided the rest of the bridesmaids are just twisted...</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNXDLt1sxDbiwDJvmkNZvPPa6dc0OkH3G6xSFb7eU76FmSnJqHYuwfYqR1ls8Ujt4LuDpmZnAQOk5FKLgpKsOcL_Th55GaJRBf6IyhNoYAX9VgSZmUBq3Kg55Y5I5JOOXBMpSMSiHnvOQ/s1600/melissasearrings.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNXDLt1sxDbiwDJvmkNZvPPa6dc0OkH3G6xSFb7eU76FmSnJqHYuwfYqR1ls8Ujt4LuDpmZnAQOk5FKLgpKsOcL_Th55GaJRBf6IyhNoYAX9VgSZmUBq3Kg55Y5I5JOOXBMpSMSiHnvOQ/s320/melissasearrings.JPG" t$="true" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Earrings, sorry it won't rotate...</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLIkQM9I-wqJA4XZxoNEjt083rng7BEzC1yg4pAdGrUj9vcIv9NlRNfie0E5zjIydE8xa_ih0uHFRQ0G2sTa7i40pkhjlWnRuGhH5HcQhKALBU64gdbE6d8J25v2BhUKqe3TEb85zk_6A/s1600/melissasnecklace.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLIkQM9I-wqJA4XZxoNEjt083rng7BEzC1yg4pAdGrUj9vcIv9NlRNfie0E5zjIydE8xa_ih0uHFRQ0G2sTa7i40pkhjlWnRuGhH5HcQhKALBU64gdbE6d8J25v2BhUKqe3TEb85zk_6A/s320/melissasnecklace.JPG" t$="true" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Necklaces</td></tr>
</tbody></table>Sunday night we started watching the movie "Fair Game" (but I was too tired to stay up and finish watching it but I finished it yesterday), and it was a good movie. <br />
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Yesterday was another good day. Eric got done work early (to take me to a drs apt) but it was still nice to have him home early. We have an incredibly busy weekend coming up. It's my cousins wedding and Hannah is the flower girl, so I am really looking forward to it!! I'm really looking forward to seeing my cousins that are far away!! So it's going to be crazy busy, but I can't wait!!<br />
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Hope everyone had a great weekend!!<br />
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AmyAmyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363521228787251563noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5067242850184779247.post-61484152083775157632011-07-20T17:53:00.000-07:002011-07-20T17:57:10.119-07:00What I Am Loving Wednesday!!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">So, it's Wednesday and time for my weekly link up with Jamie at<a href="http://littledaisymay.blogspot.com/2011/07/what-im-loving-wednesday_20.html"> This Kind of Love</a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7hli1vfUhqFBfXSALxXQF3JxmpEMIBYnoEqnj52pUqoyvBP_oTQcpIwK3tynMK0Xkv0tbT3-IfUTim5aq9MRVHVNUuJCyiprxkIdMQ_aD6AexeeE4eTyFuLjq0AJZtyfDepoju-pSb98/s1600/WILW.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7hli1vfUhqFBfXSALxXQF3JxmpEMIBYnoEqnj52pUqoyvBP_oTQcpIwK3tynMK0Xkv0tbT3-IfUTim5aq9MRVHVNUuJCyiprxkIdMQ_aD6AexeeE4eTyFuLjq0AJZtyfDepoju-pSb98/s320/WILW.jpg" t$="true" width="320" /></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">I think it would probably be faster for me to list the things I am not loving today because I can't think of a single one!! I am truly having one AMAZING WONDERFUL week!!</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">So, for starters, I am LOVING all the good news we have gotten this week. Our car is fixed, my hubbie received recognition for 10 years of dedicated service with the fire department, we have made significant gains in potty training. We found out that our building plans are going to be built, and the builder wants to PURCHASE the plans from us, Hannah has been absolutely adorable!! All in all an amazing week so far!!!</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">I am also loving this post by Ashley over at <a href="http://lifeasiknowit2009.blogspot.com/2011/07/blessings.html">Life As I Know It</a>!! I love the idea of blessings in waiting!!! </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">I am loving the amazing weather we have had all week, and the fact that it is going to continue right into the weekend. This will nicely allow for our picnic date/water park visit with Hannah's favorite aunt Ashley!! (and uncle Mike)....</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">I am loving that I am almost done all the bridal jewelry I have lined up this week. </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">I am loving my new hair color... and I even managed to take some self portraits of me and my hair in my dress for the wedding next weekend!!</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjseFPUa_YW4xjgkePAz6fzOqiYlkTQdszVUqbhPi3jppDxOnJ0Bw7v2h00Y-WKPWbP3seAR_owt2O5dwT7bThYsfq_ZIXCWTOUkvZaB7L0uk2R0pbPx3NiiyKKD5imXPWRP3_F0m2jbuE/s1600/newdress.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjseFPUa_YW4xjgkePAz6fzOqiYlkTQdszVUqbhPi3jppDxOnJ0Bw7v2h00Y-WKPWbP3seAR_owt2O5dwT7bThYsfq_ZIXCWTOUkvZaB7L0uk2R0pbPx3NiiyKKD5imXPWRP3_F0m2jbuE/s320/newdress.JPG" t$="true" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">New dress and new hair!! Excuse the self portrait!!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL-BxHII0pkY9qzYvc4VpzLp0584t8Rt2Z7WRXZ8B7SHyfRepJwE8flRr_19euyT52f1AzDMemx1GCXlFRG5pxdmcbrhYGYD2sGcZaodj8oJCNmbUUDKlbwJ2ug6qxCMpNYX2ZeZRXsAY/s1600/newhair.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL-BxHII0pkY9qzYvc4VpzLp0584t8Rt2Z7WRXZ8B7SHyfRepJwE8flRr_19euyT52f1AzDMemx1GCXlFRG5pxdmcbrhYGYD2sGcZaodj8oJCNmbUUDKlbwJ2ug6qxCMpNYX2ZeZRXsAY/s320/newhair.JPG" t$="true" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">and an even worse up close shot... but I'm loving my hair!!<br />
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</tbody></table><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">I am also loving that we booked our mini summer vacay!! I was looking to go to <a href="http://www.greatwolf.com/niagara/waterpark">Great Wolf Lodge</a>, here in Canada in Niagara Falls, but it was CRAZY expensive. It has an amazing water park, and I had heard great reviews about it. But at $460.00 for one night, I think I'll wait until Hannah is older. So then a friend of mine told me about this amazing water park hotel she stayed at in Frankenmuth, (which is nice and close to Birch Run an amazing shopping center I have never been too, and we all know how much I like to shop and in the States of all places). It's called <a href="http://www.zehnders.com/hotel/splashvillage.htm">Zehnders Splash Village</a>, and we are booked in for two nights, and it includes 4 meals for $460.00!! Great deal!! I can't wait!! August cannot come fast enough!!</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">So. like I said I am LOVING a LOT of things. I am sure I am leaving some out, but alas I need to get back to my beading projects!!</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Hope everyone's having just as an amazing week as me!!</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Amy</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
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</div>Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363521228787251563noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5067242850184779247.post-65589239287949182382011-07-19T12:14:00.000-07:002011-07-19T12:14:34.076-07:00Amazing Weekend Recap!!Wow!! I am in a great mood today!! It's amazing what a morning to yourself getting your hair done can do for you!! But, more on the one later.... first my weekend recap!!<br />
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We had an amazing weekend. Friday night we headed into town to go to a Folk Fetsival, having never been to one before I really did not know what to expect. But it was soo much fun!! We first stopped off at People's to pick up our newly shined wedding rings, and then to get my new Kobo Touch (which by the way I LOVE, and I had an amazing saleslady, who instead of charging me the upgrade - as my regular kobo stopped loading new books on me, so I wanted to upgrade, and the newer one costs $30.00 more, which I was happy to pay, and she waved it!! Gave it to me for the same price (essentially free). So thank you super sweet Chapters lady!! You set my night off to a great start!! Then we headed to the folk festival, had a great time checking out all the different vendors, enjoyed a Copper Top Pizza, and let me tell you it was soo good, I regretted my decision to share with Hannah. It was delicious. Then we headed home to put the munchkin to bed. Enjoyed a quiet night at home. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhltUCTfudNEU6AokygEO277XDNBIMidCzX-SMJ00AaIMhve3hFzcdXKwZxNVTlepCM94Oc0sHp3KwusvqkjEWa6pCxizYw0HQYWMBmFULG1ss4Ltvx2arft2QQqj4k23CU5zD5maNuvcw/s1600/ring.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" m$="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhltUCTfudNEU6AokygEO277XDNBIMidCzX-SMJ00AaIMhve3hFzcdXKwZxNVTlepCM94Oc0sHp3KwusvqkjEWa6pCxizYw0HQYWMBmFULG1ss4Ltvx2arft2QQqj4k23CU5zD5maNuvcw/s320/ring.JPG" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My self portrait of my newly shined rings!!</td></tr>
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The next morning we got up to find out my PVR was broken, it was very heart breaking for Hannah, but after an hour on the phone with Bell Canada, I ordered myself a new one for rent, in High Def, for less money, so at least it was an easy fix. Then our local fire department (the one my hubby is on), was having their 40th anniversay open house, so we headed down there for some lunch, and had a great time there. My mom came down and joined us (as she was babysitting Hannah for the evening while we attended the awards ceremony for the fire department and the BBQ). Hannah did not enjoy Sparky the fire dog (dressed in costume). She spent the afternoon with Grandma lazing in her pool. Then we headed out to the award ceremony, which was really nice, they spent a lot of time recognizing the retiree's, the firefighters were recognizsed with pins for their years of service, and even the wives got a framed photo of the fire department and a hat. It was a really nice evening, and they BBQ'd steak, so it was good eats as well. I went home before the after party as it was 11:00pm already and I was whooped. <br />
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The next morning we had a great morning together. Hannah was adorable, and we spent the morning playiny with her, and then headed over to my best friends place where she played with her sons. Then headed into town for groceries. Another GREAT day!! So. all in all an amazing weekend.<br />
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We had some running around to do yesterday, and Hannah spent the evening playing with the neighbours. And then this morning, even better, I got to be pampered, and get my hair done, and I am loving it. I'll try and get my hubby to take a picture of it tomorrow, with me wearing the dress for the wedding so you can all see how nice and fresh it looks!! I love it!!!<br />
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Hope everyone had a fantastic weekend as well!!<br />
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AmyAmyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363521228787251563noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5067242850184779247.post-65644409527894444872011-07-15T07:50:00.000-07:002011-07-15T07:50:33.044-07:00"House Rules" - Book Review Journal<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgglVBMJmpb6MxJR3HM3lzvRZe2WKub8mcxhJ5ztNLoKq626mMge9aoUi9PWaMwytvO5toSGp88awEm7_EwoWExOT_elUjrUG8TazgNwfOj8M3xm9mm6eNdhswr-P-u5TVe91WgsuQoNz4/s1600/houserules.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" m$="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgglVBMJmpb6MxJR3HM3lzvRZe2WKub8mcxhJ5ztNLoKq626mMge9aoUi9PWaMwytvO5toSGp88awEm7_EwoWExOT_elUjrUG8TazgNwfOj8M3xm9mm6eNdhswr-P-u5TVe91WgsuQoNz4/s320/houserules.jpg" width="210" /></a></div><br />
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This book was a great book to read, sometimes a little bit frustrating for me, and it hit very close to home for me. I myself was a personal support worker for a man with an autism spectrum disorder, and I truly loved my job. I give Emma (Jacob's mother) all the credit in the world, and Jodi Picoult for the immense amount of research she had to have done to portray Jacob so accurately. Caring for someone with an autism spectrum disorder is a CONSTANT, there is no "time off", even though it is much needed. But, on the other side of the spectrum, I totally see why she loves her son more then anything in the world, from two perspectives, one of course being that I am a mother myself, and the other being that I truly enjoyed the good aspects of my job. The good times made the bad times blend into the background, instead of standing out at the forefront. Unfortunately, my job came to an abrupt stop when I was assaulted by the man I was supporting. He injured my neck (amongst other things), and I now have a dysautonmia, which causes my autonomic nervous system to become dysregulated (short and simple = I pass out - every other day pretty much). I am not trying to paint the picture that all people with autism spectrum disorders have aggressions, because they certainly don't. In this case, the attack came without warning, and unfortunately for me, I wasn't equipped to handle it, being single staffed and driving a vehicle at the time. I try and look back on my time as his support staff fondly, but unfortunately, my injuries have rendered me at times in need of a support worker (having passed out and broken my wrist for example). It's been a LONG road for me, and I have learned sooo many things about myself I didn't know, and have seen how much stronger I am then I ever thought I could be. I am certain at the end of the book that that is the way Emma feels. She has waged a war with the devil, and she's got back up fighting.<br />
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From a more technical aspect of the book though, I HATED the ending, or lack there of, I am going to have to go back, and find a better copy of the book for my ereader (because the one I had was INFURIATING, it took literally 5 minutes to just turn the page), and re-read the ending, because I never did find out if Jacob was sentenced or acquited or what happened? Did anyone else get that impression to or did I just miss a HUGE part of the book?<br />
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Of course, I am back, linking up with Blonde Undercover Blonde for her <a href="http://www.blondeundercoverblonde.com/2011/07/book-club_15.html">Book Club Fridays</a>!!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIrUU6z4ykJsOaO5XeBbZu1s_ut5ank854McffXzVAlasDpvBsJTcXMaebNu2a6e0DW9y-9EF7U2kC71n-L524A_k7SQ-DipIYsyEeBQu3Zyaxv4X2IuZi9Rid12oNwnVgn4QzPpDArK8/s1600/BookClubFinalPost.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" m$="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIrUU6z4ykJsOaO5XeBbZu1s_ut5ank854McffXzVAlasDpvBsJTcXMaebNu2a6e0DW9y-9EF7U2kC71n-L524A_k7SQ-DipIYsyEeBQu3Zyaxv4X2IuZi9Rid12oNwnVgn4QzPpDArK8/s320/BookClubFinalPost.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Hope everyone has a great weekend!!<br />
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AmyAmyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363521228787251563noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5067242850184779247.post-5758648938147675412011-07-13T08:10:00.000-07:002011-07-13T08:10:14.039-07:00What I Am Loving Wednesday!!Well, let me tell you, Blogger has been giving me a run for my money, not letting me log into my blog, so I apologize for the prolonged absence. But man I have had an amazing couple of days!! I'll be scheduling some posts, so that hopefully should Blogger decide to not let me log in it will at least blog on my behalf... if that function works when it won't let you log in....<br />
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Anyways, onto <a href="http://littledaisymay.blogspot.com/2011/07/what-im-loving-wednesday_13.html">What I Am Loving Wednesday</a>!!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJkthn5SFCUlV85rbkGIV1KOAwBcOfN4TsNXK2piqkH-UmId1WkJyCLluLvEDsiEDgdjINaPb6dXG4h1rqFAi3B_dnF-0-H94kNVh5RDlRCIA4NMaQ50Z_ZImJ8D1IvPw1nDZ4qAmZZ_k/s1600/WILW.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" m$="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJkthn5SFCUlV85rbkGIV1KOAwBcOfN4TsNXK2piqkH-UmId1WkJyCLluLvEDsiEDgdjINaPb6dXG4h1rqFAi3B_dnF-0-H94kNVh5RDlRCIA4NMaQ50Z_ZImJ8D1IvPw1nDZ4qAmZZ_k/s320/WILW.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
So, for starters. the thing I am definitely loving most is THIS GIRL!!! I mean seriously how cute is she!! She literally brightens my day every single day!! I have such a blast with her everyday!!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeA0t6PL_eZcfhTN8vsTZSqJeqG_oZJipXwnrjNRHllqbfsNArGMqzxPno_qYA8Gc0kGQuZUWE7Xcp7NzwpKekAHEE_r3iaciRwi12eApFenGztL1_WNhlgOy7JJTdhTHgPvqLehRQ3VQ/s1600/hannah+golfs.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" m$="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeA0t6PL_eZcfhTN8vsTZSqJeqG_oZJipXwnrjNRHllqbfsNArGMqzxPno_qYA8Gc0kGQuZUWE7Xcp7NzwpKekAHEE_r3iaciRwi12eApFenGztL1_WNhlgOy7JJTdhTHgPvqLehRQ3VQ/s320/hannah+golfs.JPG" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This was Hannah's idea of golfing yesterday!!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>And, as you can see in the background of that last picture I AM LOVING THIS WEATHER!!! I mean, seriously it has been gorgeous!! We have spend soo much time outside!! We are loving it!!<br />
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I am also loving our potty training successes... more on that in another post...<br />
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I loved Hannah and I's mini - vacay to the city, to stay with Grandma this past weekend!!<br />
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I love the amazing waterpark we found on Sunday, and thoroughly enjoyed, we will be going back there for sure!!<br />
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I am loving that all preparations are done for the wedding that Hannah is in (as a flower girl), at the end of the month, all our outfits are bought and coordinated, and Hannah's dress is altered and ready to wear, my dress is a perfect fit (I'll post about that one later too... maybe even include a pic of me in it...).<br />
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I hope everyone is loving everything in their lives as much as me right now...<br />
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AmyAmyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363521228787251563noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5067242850184779247.post-39405009549546681172011-07-06T10:49:00.000-07:002011-07-06T10:49:13.139-07:00What I Am Loving Wednesday!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I am linking up with Jamie at <a href="http://littledaisymay.blogspot.com/2011/07/what-im-loving-wednesday.html">This Kind of Love</a> for <a href="http://littledaisymay.blogspot.com/2011/07/what-im-loving-wednesday.html">What I am Loving Wednesdays</a>!!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXCweRdal-L1LeRSe5OdPekDiFeh6yDMWT4V9a_IxPErky73mFbWsZGno6KG4-l-P_8WuulhN8Py1WByL_KsX0gH2iTGOBaoWcHJgdbv4UoCP-vhkKyWOBU_X0elgVfmzdAkQcomdJkeo/s1600/WILW.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" m$="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXCweRdal-L1LeRSe5OdPekDiFeh6yDMWT4V9a_IxPErky73mFbWsZGno6KG4-l-P_8WuulhN8Py1WByL_KsX0gH2iTGOBaoWcHJgdbv4UoCP-vhkKyWOBU_X0elgVfmzdAkQcomdJkeo/s320/WILW.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Ahh!! I am loving soo many things today!!<br />
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I am loving my amazing family, and the great weekend we just had!! <br />
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I am loving the gorgeous warm weather and sunshine we have been enjoying for about 6 days straight now!! Fabulous!! Hannah is loving her "cool" (her cold pool - lol)!!<br />
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I am loving that my hearing with the Criminal Injuries Compensation Board is over, and it was way easier on me than I anticipated it being!! Amen to closing that chapter of my life!!<br />
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I am loving the way Melissa's wedding jewelry is shaping up!! <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6FgGVDtVdvrsou5yayYJ1NZfZx-5QlHx8mz5P69evbZbJwslACdssg_ysga-PWb2PFvXeY1XZ7AJHcUzV7hF0R6UBvx68bTfz5l-LfdsKqIlO1o0eEE701rzBHnUnLlcbE-4XhIvN1oQ/s1600/melissasnecklace.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" m$="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6FgGVDtVdvrsou5yayYJ1NZfZx-5QlHx8mz5P69evbZbJwslACdssg_ysga-PWb2PFvXeY1XZ7AJHcUzV7hF0R6UBvx68bTfz5l-LfdsKqIlO1o0eEE701rzBHnUnLlcbE-4XhIvN1oQ/s320/melissasnecklace.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yep, I took this picture of myself with my iphone!! LOL</td></tr>
</tbody></table>I am loving Hannah's sweet little mumbling of "I love you mommy" in her sleep last night when I went in to tuck her in before I went to bed. It seriously melted my heart!!<br />
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I am loving that I am all caught up on laundry!!<br />
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I am loving my followers, only 7 more and I am doing a jewelry giveaway!!<br />
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So, umm yah, totally loving all kinds of things today!!<br />
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Hope everyone is having a great week!!<br />
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AmyAmyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363521228787251563noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5067242850184779247.post-53291435469516093092011-07-04T16:51:00.000-07:002011-07-04T16:51:05.946-07:00Hoping you can send some positive thoughts my way!!First I would like to apologize for the lack of posting, I have been crazy busy in many awesomely amazing ways, lots of family celebrations this past long weekend. But, we are home now, and hoping to get back into the full swing of blogging on Wednesday. <br />
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Tomorrow, however, is a day I have been dreading for 6 years now. I have my hearing with the Criminal Injuries Compensation Board. I am hopeful, and will be glad to have it all done and over with, but I am terrified about having to go through what happened during my assault. So, I am asking for your positive thoughts tomorrow. I am hoping that they will not make me talk about the assault in great detail, but at this point I am prepared that that is a very real possibility. So I am taking tomorrow off from blogging, and have my hearing tomorrow morning, so hopefully it will be an end to the nightmare I have been through, not a continuation. <br />
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Thanks for your thoughts and understanding...<br />
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AmyAmyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363521228787251563noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5067242850184779247.post-49053276870377948152011-06-29T06:51:00.000-07:002011-06-29T06:51:24.834-07:00Potty training!! Some successes, some not soo much...We have started potty training in this house, and like many mom's have said to me before, it's not going the way I expected. She gets the idea of it, as she wakes up in the morning (albeit with a wet diaper), and tells me (as I am changing her diaper),"I go pee", and she proceeds to go to her potty and pee on it (successfully the last three mornings - so I count that as routine now lol - it happened the magical three times). We get really excited, cheering and clapping, and she is clearly really proud of herself, and she gets two jelly beans of her choosing for pees, and 5 for poops. But then, after breakfast I try everything but standing on my head to get her to go potty (because surely she has to go again after her breakfast milk), and it is not happening. <br />
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She then will pee after her afternoon nap, and sometimes wakes up from her nap exclaiming "I pee", and if I can get in there fast enough get her pants off, and get her to the potty we have success, but if not, then I find a warm wet diaper, so it seems she knows she is peeing when she pees. She tells me after she pees "I'm soaked mommy", and as cute as it is to see her say, I feel defeated.<br />
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I really imagined this being like a one week project that only involved pull-ups over night, and no pants during the say until she was trained, but that is just not happening. She hates the idea of wearing no pants, and kicks up a stink to have her pants put back on, and I tell her it's easier to not have to worry about that part just yet. It seems she just wants to potty when she wants too, and not when the "I Go Potty" app chimes her too, or mommy or daddy prompt her too.<br />
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Help!! Any tips ideas, or suggestions are very welcome!! PLEASE.....<br />
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Hope everyone's having a great day!!<br />
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AmyAmyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363521228787251563noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5067242850184779247.post-81259571173822196982011-06-24T14:37:00.000-07:002011-06-24T14:37:34.871-07:00"The Postmistress" - Sarah Blake - Book Review Journal Entry #1 Book Club and Boost My Blog Friday!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNW-ZmlEgPmi4CazRweCdKIrf7F-lSUOqT12MlFfuQfqC0qeK36JxacXLQy7C4V3rEG0pR_Bdgh_fTllJbjH1FTQrnCSS9bfHEvHSrXlk93b4XFYs-EFUAv7KGX6ICwCcYEQ05DMY4IVA/s1600/postmistress_cover_front.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" i$="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNW-ZmlEgPmi4CazRweCdKIrf7F-lSUOqT12MlFfuQfqC0qeK36JxacXLQy7C4V3rEG0pR_Bdgh_fTllJbjH1FTQrnCSS9bfHEvHSrXlk93b4XFYs-EFUAv7KGX6ICwCcYEQ05DMY4IVA/s320/postmistress_cover_front.jpg" width="214" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><em>"What would happen if a postmistress chose not to deliver the mail? <br />
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It is 1940. While the war is raging in Europe, President Roosevelt promises he won't send American boys over to fight. <br />
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Iris James is the postmistress of Franklin, Massachusetts a small town at the end of Cape Cod. She firmly believes her job is to deliver and keep people's secrets, to pass along the news of love and sorrow that letters carry. Faithfully she stamps and sends the letters between people such as the newlyweds Emma and Will Fitch, who has gone to London to help out during the Blitz. But one day she slips a letter into her pocket, and leaves it there. <br />
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Meanwhile, seemingly fearless radio gal, Frankie Bard is reporting the Blitz from London, her dispatches crinkling across the Atlantic, imploring listeners to pay attention. Then in the last desperate days of the summer of 1941, she rides the trains out of Germany, reporting on what is happening to the refugees there. </em></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><em>Alternating between an America on the eve of entering into World War II, still safe and snug in its inability to grasp the danger at hand, an a Europe being torn apart by war, the two stories collide in a letter, bringing the war finally home to Franklin. " <a href="http://www.sarahblakebooks.com/books-postmistress.htm">via</a></em></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">This book is quite a lengthy one, and I have to praise Sarah Blake on her attention to detail. It's as if you can see the story coming alive right up off the page. Her descriptions of the surroundings of the characters is very realistic, and not too lengthy. I don't tend to like book about war, which sounds quite hypocritical because I have high praise for all then men and women who are involved in any aspect of the war. For some reason though I don't usually enjoy reading about it. This book is about everyday life amongst the war, and is told from almost every angle. It was easy to imagine yourself in the positions of the characters, but impossible to understand what it was that got them through what had to be the most challenging and heart wrenching times of their lives. Here are some of the excerpts that I love:</div><em>"'Put yourself in the place of any of these men,' she said as she slowed to her ending. 'Not one of them wants to be the one who gets it. Still, there comes a wild, intoxicating rush where you take your heart in your hands and hurl yourself right into the teeth of the danger, to forget the danger. So be it, you think, it's all up to God' - she smiled - ' and some men. Over here, you close your eyes, do your job, and fling yourself toward it - whatever it may be.'"</em> page 41<br />
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I think this quote says a lot about the mindset of the people who were enlisted in the war, voluntarily, or called to serve. I don't think anyone person looked forward to engaging themselves in it but it was a reality that you couldn't blatantly ignore. And just knowing the possibility of enlisting is looming would be scary enough, I can't even begin to imagine what it's like the very first time you show up at a hospital to work the front lines. I imagine that you really can't be shocked by it. You really do have to close your eyes and fling yourself at it, not knowing exactly what you could be getting yourself into.<br />
<em>"'Sweetheart, there are people over there who need help, who need another pair of hands, and I can bring them. That's the deal. That's what you were saying without saying it right out. When we know there are people in need, right now, in the same breath as what we are breathing, we cannot look away. It is not abstract. We have to go. That is humanity. The whole thing relies on it. Human beings do not look away.'"</em> page 93<br />
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This quote was one that as a wife of a firefighter, I often find aspects of his job unimaginable. I don't want my husband to be the guy that's going into a building that's roof could collapse, or a car that could catch on fire any second, but he does it without even thinking about it. It's his job, and I think if he stopped to think about it, then that's when it would/could trip him up. That said, I also cannot look away, if there's a car accident that I end up at with my husband, then I am soo very concerned about the people, and how their families are going to react, how they are just going about their business, and are about to get a call that will stop their day to a grinding halt. So, you go, you help, you do whatever you can to get these people through a terrible time in their life, and it is soo true humanity relies upon people like my husband, and each and every one of us, to fulfill the needs in our societies. Just look at all those places facing devastation from storm damage, and how their communities have rallied, and turned something terrible into an experience that has shaped them as a person and as a community. <br />
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Overall, I would recommend this book as a winter read, not a summer read, it's the kind of book that makes you want to cuddle your family close at the end of a long cold day and be thankful for everything around you. It's also a longer book, and I find in the summer time I like to read shorter books. And that my friends, is my link up <span style="background-color: yellow;"><span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">for <a href="http://www.blondeundercoverblonde.com/2011/06/book-club_24.html">Book Club Fridays</a> today, head on over there and check out what other bloggers are reading this </span></span><span style="background-color: white;">week. Stay</span> tuned for the second half of my book review next week. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBAfqx5pu0e5EHUvmhcQleQwmpmk829_md6RqNzRu0TJ6G84JPJ_eWA2EdXKXStkPbUec8ISX1ksGJkKn8QCkWOCuGrIPRe6T_5Pk6ymqbhaLV246wNQCe4nMgn4EoDuZQVGmNzogx-_I/s1600/BookClubFinalPost.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" i$="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBAfqx5pu0e5EHUvmhcQleQwmpmk829_md6RqNzRu0TJ6G84JPJ_eWA2EdXKXStkPbUec8ISX1ksGJkKn8QCkWOCuGrIPRe6T_5Pk6ymqbhaLV246wNQCe4nMgn4EoDuZQVGmNzogx-_I/s320/BookClubFinalPost.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Hope everyone has a great weekend!!!<br />
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</div>Amy<br />
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</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">P.S - I'm also linking up with Design in Chic for <a href="http://designitchic.blogspot.com/2011/06/two-for-dozen.html">Boost My Blog Fridays</a>!!!</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQh-a6BmeISpGxwfUsW0UymGZmM4gJbxBUYPjxtFaRM6VtbKBQKAoIMq2Z3MH_waFPaXnNuLyqDIg6GnzjZChkxjielGPqbZxqzguyjsaCasvtSts9O4iplFepPpQN2i7tsBq3BWpLRaA/s1600/boost.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" i$="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQh-a6BmeISpGxwfUsW0UymGZmM4gJbxBUYPjxtFaRM6VtbKBQKAoIMq2Z3MH_waFPaXnNuLyqDIg6GnzjZChkxjielGPqbZxqzguyjsaCasvtSts9O4iplFepPpQN2i7tsBq3BWpLRaA/s1600/boost.png" /></a></div>Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363521228787251563noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5067242850184779247.post-24447107357753222062011-06-22T18:01:00.000-07:002011-06-22T18:01:56.217-07:00What I Am Loving Wednesday!!So, it's that time again for <a href="http://littledaisymay.blogspot.com/2011/06/what-im-loving-wednesday_22.html">What I'm Loving Wednesdays</a>!!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRlo7Zk9APGSuZEzVpviE3GWwlNx4b8iVbI8TcP2Ot9SNw0IkAc8EEzCMMEjgmVv8QGl0DYr5x651amMqOESWshyAjUL9ds6ivBIpnSAxCG4rNH1t9kt_I2WCSV9fnGbc5faAhEuNsbm8/s1600/WILW.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" i$="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRlo7Zk9APGSuZEzVpviE3GWwlNx4b8iVbI8TcP2Ot9SNw0IkAc8EEzCMMEjgmVv8QGl0DYr5x651amMqOESWshyAjUL9ds6ivBIpnSAxCG4rNH1t9kt_I2WCSV9fnGbc5faAhEuNsbm8/s320/WILW.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>I am loving our gorgeous weather we have been having, and that I have air conditioning to block out all the things I am allergic to!!<br />
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I also LOVED Ashley's necklace (seen here on the Bachelorette) from Monday night, and am working on making myself one similar..<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuG7LZAvC1fKwwMfP0cUpxOdzUlvXt0JAf91QoqtT-ZmmuaZgJPLMv47ZZ8uGa0XvxmY5wQzkJgUqm6MXfpQcd3MGtlC6NPvN2SEPMaDGebLXkA2kfkYtKXypGdfKINn2CoIleifBeN6A/s1600/ashley+necklace.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="270" i$="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuG7LZAvC1fKwwMfP0cUpxOdzUlvXt0JAf91QoqtT-ZmmuaZgJPLMv47ZZ8uGa0XvxmY5wQzkJgUqm6MXfpQcd3MGtlC6NPvN2SEPMaDGebLXkA2kfkYtKXypGdfKINn2CoIleifBeN6A/s320/ashley+necklace.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="left" class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div align="left">I am also loving my sweet girl Hannah (yah I know what else is new...) LOL</div><div align="left"><br />
</div><div align="left">I am also loving that the bead organization is 90% done so that portion of cleaning up and organizing the spare bedroom is almost done.</div><div align="left"><br />
</div><div align="left">I am loving my Kobo, because it means I can donate my books!! Clearing out some more room in my spare room.</div><div align="left"><br />
</div><div align="left">I am loving the new show "The Voice", it's really great!!</div><div align="left"><br />
</div><div align="left">That's about it!! Hope everyone's having a great Wednesday!!</div><div align="left"><br />
</div><div align="left">Amy</div>Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363521228787251563noreply@blogger.com1